It is a new decade!

Time to work on my New Year's resolutions:

Get ripped up abs like The Situation, bro. Fistpump!



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Live by important latin proverbs:

Absit reverentia vero

(The truth should not be silenced to spare someone)


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Be classy like Conan:

Before we end this rodeo, a few things need to be said. There has been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can’t say about NBC. To set the record straight, tonight I am allowed to say anything I want. And what I want to say is this: between my time at Saturday Night Live, The Late Night Show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I have worked with NBC for over twenty years. Yes, we have our differences right now and yes, we’re going to go our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we have done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible.

Walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium, and I will fight anyone who says I don’t. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I’ve had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we’ll find a way to make it fun.

And finally, I have to say something to our fans. The massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming. The rallies, the signs, all the goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet, and the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain to be in our audience, made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.

To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

Say what you will about him, but the man knows how to make an exit.


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Kick Ass like Weng Weng

History Geek Corner

Back to blogging? Would not count on it! But every once in a while I may run across something that compels me to post something.

The other day, for instance, I was doing a search for something and I stumbled across a very very old photographic portrait. I'm talking 1840s-1850s. What was even more remarkable was that it was a portrait of a very old person. So not only was I looking at an actual photograph of a man who live 150 years ago, I was actually looking at a man who had been born in the mid eighteenth century. For some reason, I found this mind-boggling.

After a bit of searching, I found this site, which features photos of American Revolutionary War veterans in the autumn of their years. Never mind the fact that these men faced down the redcoats and saw George Washington with their own eyes... One of these fellows, Conrad Heyer, was alive during the Seven Years War. He was ten years old when Wolfe and Montcalm fought on the Plains of Abraham, 250 miles north of his home. And he was already a man in the prime of his life the year his country was founded.



Conrad Heyer of Waldoborough, Maine: Born 1749, died 1856 at the age of 107. He may well be the earliest born human ever photographed.

Worked Up

Let's face it, the blog is moribund. At this point --with the arrival of the twins imminent-- it takes something truly outrageous to sufficiently get my dander up to the point where I feel compelled to post.

That something is the Polanski case, and more specifically, the myriad of "industry" types who have flocked to Roman's defence ever since he got his stupid ass pinched, in Switzerland, of all places.

By now, all the myths and misconceptions around this case should have been thoroughly debunked. It was rape, plain and simple. And Polanski pleaded guilty. And then he fled from justice, and has been a fugitive ever since. Any artistic achievement coming either before the crime, or in the intervening years has absolutely no bearing on the truth of the fact that Polanski never paid for the crime he committed.

If you were looking for evidence that Hollywood's moral compass is irretrievably broken, you can cease searching: Here it is.

Remember the names of these child-rape apologists, folks. Remember them the next time you queue up at the box office.

I hate Bill Maher. But he is 100% right:



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Also: Afghanistan is an ungodly mess. It was supposed to be the "good war", remember? In contrast to the "wrong war" that was Iraq, the Afghanistan conflict, with the imprimatur of the UN and the collaboration of NATO, was the one that even the most doveish of the Democrats could get behind. I'm now worrying about it in a way I never worried about Iraq.

Even in the darkest days, I figured Iraq was winnable --as a search through my blog archives will attest. With Afghanistan, though, I have never been certain, and following the debacle that were the recent elections and other developments. I'm less certain than ever. For one thing, the two freelance journalists who were most reliable on what was really going on on the ground in Mesopotamia throughout that conflict, the Michaels Yon and Totten, always gave a realistic picture of that conflict, so in my book they have credibility.

On Afghanistan, both have sounded, and continue to sound, pretty pessimistic. Yon, in particular, seems to have a real understanding of the situation, and his insights are pretty frightening. It really does seem that things need to turn around there, and quick. Frankly, I'm not sure if the Obama administration has the stomach to do what needs to be done.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

Why Bother?

I've been blogging so sporadically lately, that I feel like Dan Aykroyd, popping by Studio 8H with my lifetime pass for an SNL cameo, blithely ignoring the fact that I have not done anything that merits an appearance in decades.

Well I'm about to become a dad for a second and third time (twins!) so I've had to engage in some radical re-prioritizing. Here's some stumbled-across content from my hiatus

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I think Detroit is the new Palenque--hey that ain't a bad idea for a tourism slogan! Behold, its Feral Houses

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My brain don't work so good. What's the highest form of patriotism again? I keep forgetting that neat little aphorism I kept reading everywhere during the period of 2000-2008.

Mark Steyn:

Well, on mid-day on January the 20th, pretty much everyone ripped off those bumper stickers off the back of their car, and told us now what was important that we should all be united. We should all be one. We should be in effect a one-party state.

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Behold, the worst wrestling match ever:



Nice fireball!

From what I gather, this match basically finished Jim Hellwig as a wrestler once and for all. Given what followed, one could argue that Hogan never recovered from this debacle either.

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The suberb miniseries Generation Kill has been on HBO all summer, and viewing it has motivated me to hunt down The Wire, which was produced by the same people. This is some truly good storytelling, people. Maybe because it was based on a book written by Rolling Stone's Evan Wright, who was embedded with The Marines of First Recon throughout the invasion of Iraq, it somehow rings true. Maybe it is the way that the filmakers refuse to adhere to tired tropes or engage in Hollywood shorthand and supply us with the usual lazy archetypes within a group (i.e. the black one, the southern one, the jewish one...). Rather, we gradually come to know a few of these young, vulgar and phenomenally brave young Americans in striking, character-revealing moments amidst the crucible of a strangely improvised war. The producers do not condescend to the audience, either: In the end, you are neither pressed to cheer the conquering heroes nor moved to deplore the amoral aggressors, you are merely left to contemplate what you have seen, and draw your own conclusions. It is as if we are being told: "This all happened... now, what do you think?"

One who was there, and has been fairly open about what he thinks, is Nate Fick, who in the miniseries is depicted as the young Lt he was in 2003 when First Recon stormed across the Iraqi border in its Humvees. Here you can see retired Captain Fick, author of his own memoir on his time as a Marine Officer, speaking on his experiences.

Interestingly I had read somewhere that one of the members of the cast was not a professional actor, but an actual marine who played himself. I could not guess who it was while viewing miniseries, and was surprised when I learned it was Rudy Reyes.
Here is an article on a most unique member of the USMC. Check out the comments section for a few chuckles.

With the British Army and the ANA in Helmand

More Leftovers

With some new stuff thrown in for good measure:

Slate has a piece on single-topic-blogs, which I must admit enjoy as a kind of guilty pleasure. My favourite: LATFH

Related: Carnivore? Keep Being Awesome!

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RIP MJ

Anyone remember this?



I love the WAAAOOH! scream.

Weird! Good music though.

...Come to think of it, that statement applies as much to the man himself as the videogame.

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A baked Kevin Smith gets poignant:

We have a symbiotic relationship, the fan base and I. In a weird way, they get to live vicariously through me, since I'm the tubby kid who made it good, who comes across less like an artist and more like your buddy who suddenly won the lottery of life. They see how I "handle" it, and they're into the fact that it would appear I'm the same person now as I was before I started making films. Plus, I inspire them, in that "If a guy like that can make it, then maybe I can, too" kinda way.

What I get from the fan base is unconditional support. They may not like all the flicks I do, but they'll give each one a shot—which is the most you can ask for from any audience. Contrary to what the haters think, the fan base doesn't lounge around like a giant caterpillar, taking hits off the hookah of my collective body of work; they're normal people with normal lives who just relate to what I write/say. And the relationship doesn't end at the theater: These are folks I play poker with. I spend my birthdays with them (onstage or at a home-made prom). I played hockey against and beside them just last week in Brantford, Ontario, at Walter Gretzky's 3rd Annual Street Hockey Tournament. It makes sense we'd all get along, as we share a common interest: Kevin Smith films. But, Jesus—you can only talk about those for so long. And when the "Then what'd Jason Lee say?" chatter dries up, you find they're more friends than fans.

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Neda may be dead, but she just won't go away

"Staged"?

Yeah, sure, Mahmood... in fact, it was probably staged by them non-existent gays, eh?

Related: Hitchens

There is nothing at all that any Western country can do to avoid the charge of intervening in Iran's internal affairs. The deep belief that everything—especially anything in English—is already and by definition an intervention is part of the very identity and ideology of the theocracy.

It is a mistake to assume that the ayatollahs, cynical and corrupt as they may be, are acting rationally. They are frequently in the grip of archaic beliefs and fears that would make a stupefied medieval European peasant seem mentally sturdy and resourceful by comparison.

The tendency of outside media to check the temperature of the clerics, rather than consult the writers and poets of the country, shows our own cultural backwardness in regrettably sharp relief. Anyone who had been reading Pezeshkzad and Nafisi, or talking to their students and readers in Tabriz and Esfahan and Mashad, would have been able to avoid the awful embarrassment by which everything that has occurred on the streets of Iran during recent days has come as one surprise after another to most of our uncultured "experts."

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Bill Murray is just great

Local reporter drops sly reference, reaps reward.

How cool would it be to tell your kids that you once talked to Carl Spackler at the U.S. open?

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Frank Sinatra Has A Cold

The hoodlum from hoboken was cool back when being cool was a character trait and not a lifestyle choice. They don't make like Frank Sinatra any more, and they don't write stuff this good very often either. You don't event need to be a fan of the Chairman of the Board to dig this article, an early example of the "new journalism".

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She's resigning to spend more time with her media consultant

Sara Palin has been in the news so much lately, I could not help but recall the amusing misadventures of a certain amateur Catholic theologian and part-time gynecologist!

One of the nastiest takedowns I have read in a long time:

Through the Looking Glass with Andrew Sullivan

Cleaned out the Freezer

Amazing what you find back there! Haven't been blogging much lately, mostly because I have been hanging out with the little guy during my vacation. I'm a bit out-of-the-loop as far as pop culture and current events go. Nevertheless, here are a few frost-bearded hunks of months-old leftovers and tidbits

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Because I never get tired of people picking on the UN

A great piece found on ForeignPolicy.com: Some Dissasembly Required

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IDF video on Hamas tactics



Whether you think this is “Zionist propaganda” or a painstaking reconstruction of Hamas tactics during Operation Cast Lead, it's a pretty fascinating video with amazing computer graphics.


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Dante's Inferno

Cool site if you are interested in one of the classics of Western literature:World of Dante.

Apparently the Ciardi translation is the best, though I don't think that was the one I read. I'll have to re-visit...

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Scambaiting is Fun!

Not that I would encourage that potentially dangerous pastime, but some of these elaborate ruses are pretty insane! Incredible what some people are willing to go through if they think that there is a big payoff at the end.

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Rough start for Conan

In honour of David Letterman being number one again for the first time in like 15 years: Cracked presents Letterman's 9 most hilariously awkward moments

Also, not necessarily awkward... just bizarre: Chris Elliott on Letterman



Actually, if you have seen what he is spoofing, it is pretty funny. If you haven't, look up Shatner Rocketman on Youtube.

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Douglas Copeland attempts to bring back his 90s zeitgeist, does not succeed

From a Diogenes Borealis post from last November: Hideous Public Art.

Mr. Copeland, your ironic slacker installation blows in almost every way, but at least it looks vaguely military. So, congrats on your partial FAIL.

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This will be good for your brain

Trust me



...now this was TV, people!

see why Bill Buckley is missed so?

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Last but not least, two random cool sites

Cabinet of Wonders

The British Library Online Gallery, featuring the Lindisfarne Gospels