Perplexing quote provided completely out of context

Pope Benedict XVI will bury you in an avalanche of righteousness and roast your heathen flesh in the purifying fires of the holy spirit.

I actually found this in an e-mail I wrote to an e-mail to a friend a few months ago. I must have been off my meds.


You could accuse me of hero worship... but you might get tortured for it

Another Baueristic link

Different Jack, but cool nonetheless

Michael Ware, the intrepid Time magazine correspondent, exposed

The Dupes and the Defenders

Actual press release:

The Iraq embassy condemns the comment of "Christian Peacemaker Teams" and calls
on all democrats to rally to the cause of a democratic Iraq and to condemn all
such phony pacifists... One could hardly think of a more disgraceful response to
the efforts of the Iraqi, American and British soldiers that risked their necks
to save hostages... They are not pacifists, but stooges of the enemies of
democracy. The "Christian Peacemaker Teams" practice the kind of politics that
automatically nominate them as dupes for jihadism and fascism


Another actual press release:

Statement by the Prime Minister on the passing of Private Robert Costall
March 29, 2006
Ottawa, Ontario


Prime Minister Stephen Harper today issued the following statement on the passing of Private Robert Costall:

“It is with great sadness that we learned of the death of Private Robert Costall, killed in a firefight in Afghanistan.

“Private Costall died while participating in our mission to bring democracy and stability to the war torn country of Afghanistan. His sacrifice, for which we are deeply grateful, will be remembered.

“On behalf of the people of Canada and our government, I extend our deepest condolences to the family, friends, and co-workers of Private Costall. Our thoughts and prayers are with them.

“Our UN-mandated mission in Afghanistan is not without risk and we are so very proud of our brave men and women who daily face these dangers while carrying out their duties. They represent the best of our country and I am proud to honour them.”

So which of these makes you proud to be Canadian?

RIP Private Costall

From a Canada.com article

Earlier Monday, the Christian Peacemaker Teams admitted they purposefully kept the fact Loney is gay a secret over fears his sexual orientation could further endanger his life while he was held captive in Iraq. "There was concern for his safety in this violent world of gay-bashing," said administrative co-ordinator Rebecca Johnson.

(...)It was in Loney's "best interest" to keep that part of his personal life under wraps because gay people are still targets of "antagonistic" attacks.


Notice the artful evasion... The implication appears to be that in this day and age, Loney's sexual orientation puts him in danger of "antagonistic attacks" from, say, roving gangs of intolerant bigots in downtown Toronto. By obliquely and deliberately characterising the threat as "this violent world", Johnson evades the thorny issue of the prevailing attitude towards homosexuality in certain very specific parts of the world. Anyone who knows anything about urban Canada and our famed value of tolerance sees this for what it is: disingenuous obfuscation.

No, Ms. Johnson. As a homosexual, Mr. Loney was not in danger "in this violent world of gay-bashing". He was in danger from a very specific localized threat: in this world there are theocratic absolutists who would happily crush him under a wall for buggery, there are Baathist thugs who would relish his kidnapping and murder as a sign to other decadent westerners, and there are jihadists who would love to video tape the sawing off of his sodomizing infidel's head for propaganda purposes... and, in case you didn't know, none of these people are found on Jarvis Street in Toronto.

All Over The Place:

I'm impressed!

I'm kinda surprised they couldn't find an American-built car, but nevertheless,
THIS is pretty amazing!


24: We kill more major characters in one hour than most primetime dramas kill in several seasons

This morbid little hitcounter is brought to you by the good folks at Blogs4bauer

Allah's holodeck:

An intersting angle on the islamic worldview

Desmond Morton to the media:

Do your f*cking job

You Christian? You crazy!

Dudes keep insisting that Islam is a religion of peace , and some other dudes keep insisting on proving them wrong!
Now that is crazy.

Swompdonkey is two years old

Thanks for sticking with me, friend! Your patronage is encouraging. I do believe I will continue to post my disjointed rantings -- how does that grab you?

Twenty-Four update:

I've been chastized for not adding spoiler warnings to my 24 posts. It never occured to me that some people actually don't watch the show from week to week, but prefer to TIVO it and watch three or four episodes at once, or wait for the DVD boxed set to come out. I should have thought of that, of course, because I actually watched Seasons 1-3 on DVD after discovering the show last year. My apologies for spoiling anything... I promise to be more careful in the future... and with that:

***POTENTIAL SPOILER***

Jack now divides the sexes! 24-related post at jumptheshark.com in response to a girl's complaint over Tony's exit:
This show has never jumped. It is still one of the edgiest, most suspenseful rides out there on the small screen and this season is the best since Day 2. It is one of the few shows that has balls enough to kill off any major character. For those whining about Tony's death, get over it! What did you expect when the writers say that no one on the show is safe? I loved Tony too, but his time came and that's the way it goes. Oh, and to the above poster who's boyfriend quit watching...I can understand. He obviously was no longer able to identify with Jack Bauer; a man with his own set of testicles that remain under his own control. I hope your boyfriend enjoys Gilmore Girls and The O.C., or whatever it is that you make him watch when you're not playing solitaire. Meanwhile, the rest of us real men will continue to enjoy Jack and the ticking clock of doom.

***SPOILER ENDS***


Victor Davis Hanson runs a fantastic Web site. If you have never visited it, I encourage you to do so. It's chock-full of great articles containing some very sharp insights --like this one:

When Westerners die in Afghanistan, it is back-page news; but in Iraq, the deaths make the front page. Why? Because the "bad" war in Iraq was supposedly "unilateral," while the "good" war to dethrone the Taliban is now a multilateral enterprise. Yet to the jihadists, there is little difference between the two: a German soldier in Kabul looks every bit the crusader that the American in the Sunni Triangle does. We in the West make the distinction between the wars; the radical Islamists don't.


On the topic of Afghanistan: Lets not forget that, for all our rhetoric about democracy and the rule of law, Afghanistan is still a profoundly troubled land. Some things that go on there are incomprehensible to me. Like the ordeal of an Afghani apostate reported here in the Globe and Mail.

PS
I just found out that the creator of Ren and Stimpy has a blog. I was the hugest fan of that show when it first came out something like fifteen years ago.... Can I really be that old?

With Tony deceased, Jack calls upon the Lord for help?

...or so it would appear. I thought I recognized that Theo Stoller! Sure he may say he he's from German intelligence, but that's only an alias. A search of Government databases uncovered several aliases:
Salvator Mundi
Joshua Emmanuel Nazarenus
Iesu Christos

That's right! It's Jesus!

And now, Jack's gone and pissed him off. Great, not like Bauer didn't have enough on his plate already. He would do well to remember John Turturro's character's words from the Big Lebowski. You know what I'm talking about.

TWENTY-FOUR

(a.k.a. The Jack Bauer Power Hour)

Edgar's death a Mistake?

Maybe.... but Tony's? Definitely.

I know that this show is admired for its daring and willingness to dispatch major characters without remorse.... Jack Bauer may be the sweatsoaked fist of vengeance, but the fact remains, Agent SOULPATCH, a CTU fixture since Season One, was the heart of the show.

If he really is dead --and I still have my doubts, mostly because of the absent silent counter at the end of the episode with which the deceased Ryan Chapelle, George Mason, and Edgar Styles were previously honoured--

If he really is dead, expect switch Retribution from Agent GRAVITAS

There's a man going around taking names
And he decides who to free and who to blame
Everybody won't be treated all the same
There'll be a golden ladder reaching down
When the Man comes around

The hairs on your arm will stand up
At the terror in each sip and in each sup
Will you partake of that last offered cup?
Or disappear into the potter's ground
When the Man comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum
Voices calling, voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn tree
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom
Then the father hen will call his chickens home
The wise man will bow down before the thrown
And at His feet they'll cast their golden crowns
When the Man comes around

Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
Listen to the words long written down
When the Man comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn tree
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

In measured hundred weight and penny pound
When the Man comes around.

Johnny Cash
The Man Comes Around

Memories of Italy - May 2004: Rufus, guardian of the Pensione Bellavista. The dreaded mastiff's slobbery kisses strikes fear into the hearts of the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells of Florence  

From an Ottawa Sun Column:
Oddly, when we were on our fuzzier peacekeeping missions no one cared when we died. There was rarely any publicity, and little sympathy. I don't quite understand that. In the end, I guess some people just don't get it. Some friends and family don't understand why I want to go, and why I don't make an effort to get out of serving in Afghanistan. I don't hear anyone asking a cop why he answers 911 calls, or why a firefighter runs into a burning building. In fact, I was just accepted for an occupational transfer to Search and Rescue Technician that brings a significant pay raise, but I've turned it down to go to the new Special Operations Regiment.
Why? How can I back away when all my friends are going? I believe in the mission, and in my heart I'm a soldier. This is what I do.

This gentleman displays the mindset of the warrior. John Keegan wrote in his introduction to A History of Warfare:Warriors are not as other men. I really believe that most Canadians cannot fathom this mentality, and perhaps the idea that idealistic dupes like this poor fellow actually want to go put what they have spent years training for to good use is almost repellent to some -- so disconnected have we become from our own past. They believe that we are a nation of peacekeepers, and that our benevolent blue helmets are basically a Canadian peacecorps trained in negotiation and multilateral relations --Canadian Forces members should not talk like gung-ho "american style" warriors. And yet, there are still warriors among us; honourable warriors who believe that the military profession is not one where the primary role of its practicants must be obfuscated or cloaked in the jargon of the pacifist.

No, Canada is not a militaristic society, but it is nevertheless a society in which the military has always played a role, a society where warriors still dwell --something that the myths, pieties and social engineering of the last thirty years can never truly erase. If you don't believe me, walk into any old militia armoury in any city in Canada --there are dozens across the land --and ask to speak to the resident historian or curator of the military museum.

Warriors have been a part of Canadian society since the first outposts were founded by Champlain in the seventeenth century. The history of some of Canada's present-day militia units can be traced back to the Niagara and Lower Canada campaigns in the War of 1812. Throughout the imperial years of the nineteenth century, both before and after Confederation, Canadian men --often more British in outlook than Canadian, went around the globe to fight in Queen Victoria's Wars and many gained reknown. This is that particular breed I refer to as a warrior --a breed of man quite unlike the citizen-soldier, who enlists in time of war, as millions did during the twentieth century.

These warriors are now the ones who now eagerly volunteer for dangerous operations like the one in Afghanistan, where, in the "three block war", humanitarian relief, peacekeeping and warfighting all go hand-in-hand. They fight for those who cannot fight for themselves in the most wretched corners of the world, risking life and limb to ply their trade and bring help to the oppressed. Most strongly believe in what they are doing, and some are even eager to go. George Orwell was speaking of these men when he wrote: "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf". The warriors are part of a warrior tribe, quite apart from the rest of us, that hews to those old-fashioned values of duty, honour, and loyalty, and their function is to protect the rest of us.

We should not prevent them from doing what any society expects of its warriors.

Jack Bauer vs. James Ellard - interesting parallels:

When he's on duty, Jack Bauer is known for his brooding intensity.
After he eats garlic, James Ellard is know for his brutally intense breath.

When dealing with terrorists, Jack often has no remorse.
When watching TV, James often cannot find his remote.

Jack shot a lady in the knee because he wanted to make a man talk.
James is a man, but he walks like a lady because his knees are shot.

Jack and his co-workers use intelligence from the Government to track down threats.
Because of his lack of intelligence, James is no threat to his Government co-workers.

Jack once faced a biological disaster and took out mexican baddies in the same day.
James once created a biological disaster in his apartment after some bad mexican take out.

Jack sometimes wears a kevlar vest and sunglasses.
James sometimes wears a sweater vest and reading glasses.

Jack barely eats and can function on no sleep for 24 hours at a time.
One time James ate 24 donuts in his sleep.

Jack doesn't play around --he has real gravitas.
James usually gets slapped around when he tries to play grab-ass.

Jack's heart once stopped during torture. He was revived and proceeded to kill everyone in the room.
James' heart once stopped halfway into a bag of pork rinds. He was revived and proceeded to kill a six-pack of Keiths.

Jack Bauer took 24 hours to save the U.S. President.
James Ellard took 24 minutes to shave a nursing home resident.

Michelle, Joe, Nesrine, and Ziad at the Courthouse in Toronto 

I'm not sure you HEARD ME!... There's some SNAKES on this Mothaf*ckin' PLANE!

Somebody in the Rotten Tomatoes Forum smells a hit. It stars Sam Jackson, and it's called-- I shit you not-- Snakes On A Plane:

Snakes on a Plane is going to be the Top-Grossssssssing film of 2006 because finally Jackson has found a worthy co-star since John Travolta that will finally up his game and make the back and forth interplay between the two entertaining. Kind of like when global superstar Jackie Chan hooked up with Chris Tucker and finally delivered a legitimate blockbuster hit that people in the States could enjoy. Same deal here. In 2006... snakes will be to Samuel L. Jackson what Chris Tucker was to Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour movies.

Do not for a second underestimate the underlying interest people have always had for snakes and the untapped potential they have to seriously kickstart the currently lukewarm movie industry. Everybody loves snakes, even the people who hate them, so this film is hopefully going to finally break down the walls and barriers and alleviate some of the long-standing stereotypes people have had with regards to this underrepresented species. Depending on how they are depicted in this already much-debated film, the potential Snakes has to significantly impact the visibility and overall acceptance of snakes in modern cinema is palpable. Snakes on a Plane is going to do for snakes what Brokeback Mountain has already done for gay people.... remember this.

Jackson may say this is just another throwaway movie for him. Lucky for him, 2006 may very well prove to be the Year of the Snake

Holy Blood, Holy Bunk

I'm quite gratified to hear that the "soon-to-be a major motion picture" The Da Vinci Code-- that formulaic, problematic, and highly over-rated novel, is getting its comeuppance. Anyone who has bothered to probe the roots of this pseudo-historical work of fiction will already be aware that it borrows heavily from Baigent and Leigh's Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Indeed, Dan Brown makes little secret of this, going so far as making the name of one of the characters in his novel an anagram of Baigent and Leigh's names.

It turns out the feckless Brown may have borrowed a bit too heavily from the 1982 conspirazoid opus authored by two so-called "religious scholars" Michael Baigent (BA Canterbury U.) and Dr Leigh (PhD Stony Brook New York State University -Stony Brook U? Is that an online university?) who are now suing Brown's ass for plagiarism. A legion of real religious scholars have already dismiss the oddball theories found in HBHB as a load of nonsense time and time again, but a high-profile court case will likely drag Baigent and Leigh's pungent ideas out into the light of day yet again, exposing the Priory of Sion Hoax and other ludicrous theories to a much wider audience than ever before.

Let the bloodletting begin, I say!

Olympic roundup:

Men's hockey team just got the beatdown from the Swiss. A nation hangs its head in shame.

A cautionary tale for showboats: American hotdogger blows it big time

Oops! Take down the gold wallpaper... do we have it it silver?

Somebody get a screenshot of this!
Canada ahead of US in medal count

Jihad roundup:

I've been thinking about one of self-described smut-peddlar Larry Flint's most famous quotes lately. He was, and largely remains, a reprehensible and amoral man -- but he was also a crusader for free speech, and he once said:

If the First Amendment will protect a scumbag like me, it will protect all of you.

So in that spirit, let us celebrate the right of scumbags to continue to draw scumbaggy drawings, say scumbaggish things, and basically scumbag it up in general. Because freedom is what makes us who we are. And we'll never give it up.

Topical Satire
More blasphemy from The Onion

Disrespectfully and blatantly ripped from the innards of NRO's The Corner:
The Multicultural Crackup (courtesy of John Derbyshire)
From Ron Liddle in the 2/4/06 London Spectator: "One of Britain's top Muslims, the ever-entertaining Sir Iqbal Sacranie, is in trouble for having expressed the wholly orthodox -- and even, by his religion's standards, moderate -- view that homosexuals are 'not acceptable' and 'immoral' and that 'same-sex relationships damage the very foundations of society.' For having come up with this stuff on the BBC's 'PM' programme, he has been investigated by the police for the thought-crime, or, as the police put it these days, hate-crime, of homophobia. "...If Sir Iqbal -- and adherents of the Muslim faith in general -- believe homosexuality to be repugnant, then that is their view, and it is not the business of the government, or the police... to divest them of it. But the Old Bill are scurrying around to Sir Iqbal's house with a view top rosecuting him for merely articulating one of the fundamental tenets of a religion whose strictures will soon be protected by law. [ i.e. the proposed UK law to criminalize the defamation of Islam] This is, quite literally, madness. The two laws -- one proposed and one already on the statute books -- are in
direct, unequivocal opposition. One day we will surely see the prosecution of a gay person for suggesting that Islam is ludicrous and, by dint of its opposition to homosexuality, illegal. And where will we be then?" [Derb] In short: If it a proper goal of the law to prosecute people who give outrageous offense to groups of their fellow-citizens; and if homosexuals, by their private practices, give outrageous offense to Muslims; and if Muslims, by their abhorrence of homosexuality, give outrageous offense to homosexuals; whom does the state prosecute?
Answers on a postcard, please, to Tony Blair, 10 Downing Street, London W.C.1.

Bizarre AND Blasphemous!

More offensive than the Hampster Dance!

Til next time...Stay Classy!

Fighting hate with humour

This is Brilliant
Something that will baffle and puzzle the extremists in Iran who hoped to provoke some kind of response by publishing vile holocaust cartoons. They truly do not understand Western society.

Here is a comment on LGF that explains --as well as I could-- why it is so brilliant:

The Jews who are behind this are saying to the Islamofascists, "We will take your antisemitism and throw it right back in your face. We will do it with more talent, more humor, more style and pizzazz, and yes, more artistry than you can imagine. And we'll be laughing at you the whole time." This is not self-hating behavior. There is plenty of that among Jews who identify with the (supposedly) oppressed Muslims, lefty students who join pro-Palestinian groups, etc. But that's not the case here. Jewish humor has completely penetrated American culture over the last 50 years or so and has become thoroughly mainstream, largely through television. Since childhood I've been exposed to comics like the Marx Brothers, Henny Youngman, Mel Brooks, and Jerry Seinfeld, just to name a few. They, and many others, have become part of the American pantheon. So even though I'm not Jewish, a Jewish style of humor is an inseparable part of me, and I couldn't imagine life without it(...) Humor is one area in which we are clearly superior to the Islamofascists, and we shouldn't hesitate to use it as a weapon.

NDP Clerics declare Fatwa

Vancouver NDPers launched a holy war against apostate Emerson... meanwhile, the silence of Montreal secular socialists over Senator "coz-I-didn't-feel-like-running!" Fortier is deafening. Different political cultures? Gallic pragmatism vs left coast idealism? All I know is that the big story of Harper's audacious Cabinet is being pumped full of steroids and fed intravenously by frantic, outraged political journalists (like one of my faves, A-to-the-C). The scribes are half repulsed by Harper's crass political opportunism, Fortier's annoying honesty about his distaste for trying his luck in an election, and Emerson's lack of scruples... and half pissed that Harper blindsided them with this blockbuster story without leaking it à la Paul Martin. They also must see the end is near, in the form of the Gretzky Tsunami... a story involving the ponitfex maximus of our national religion that will swamp the frontpages and headlines for days to come, drowning the Harper/Emerson/Fortier stories and washing them out to sea.... and that's a pity. Because what Harper did was clever AND wrong, I think, and deserves the opprobrium being visited on him. If the shrewd strategic thinkers in the PMO calculated the cost-benefit of this move months ago, and figured that the olympics or some olympic related story --please step forward, Mr. and Mrs. Betsky -- was bound to sprout new controversies across the front of our front pages, they may be about to be proved correct in their cynical calculus. Now watch for the martyrdom of Saint Wayne.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

Not to sound like some kind of doom-monger, but what the hell is going on?

Double D hints at a stalling global economy...

Meanwhile, Loonytoongate continues:

Daniel Pipes:

The key issue at stake in the battle over the twelve Danish cartoons of the Muslim prophet Muhammad is this: Will the West stand up for its customs and mores, including freedom of speech, or will Muslims impose their way of life on the West? Ultimately, there is no compromise: Westerners will either retain their civilization, including the right to insult and blaspheme, or not.

More hilarity, and a little perspective, from Iowahawk

Angry in the Great White North Gets it:

So I ask again, if you believe in free speech, if you believe that Church and State have distinct roles to play, and that they need to respect each other's authority, if you have spared any thought about the sort of world you want your kids to grow up in, and if you have ever wanted to poke an Islamic terrorist in the eye but figured you would never get the chance, then post a cartoon if you are a blogger.

State that the cartoon is offensive and in poor taste, if you find it so. Call it puerile and juvenile if you like. Misleading even. But if you have a blog, post a copy. Whatever your point of view, stand up and be counted against those who have not only have no interest in your point of view but would have your point of view silenced, violently if need be.

Another spot to see Cartoons

And because I am a believer in equal-opportunity offending, here are some offensive cartoons of a different stripe....sauce for the goose, I say... and yet for some reason, I don't recall any embassy burnings, boycotts or riots over these bad boys...

Though we continue to feed the crocodile, Captain Hook is finally getting what is coming to him. Now people are pissed that he wasn't investigated earlier.

Here is a scorecard of the spectrum of responses from the West.

NEVER FORGET

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THINK AND SAY AND BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT

NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU

EVER


Cartoons here

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
Sir Winston Churchill