Swompdonkey

Being at work after-hours is always a bit eerie. Everything gets really quiet and you begin to notice the subliminal sounds. You know, the ones that are always there but that your brain filters out as you go about your daily routine. The hum of overhead lights and computers; rasping breath, wheezing, throat clearing, snorting, knee-or-ankle-cracking... the little noises that people don't even realize they are making. When you are in a work environment that tends toward the geriatric, like mine (average age appears to be about 73-- I still get called kid or sonny even though I am pushing 30... I think you get the idea), people make alot of noise, even when they aren't speaking. When you pick up on them, tt can be distracting and a bit disconcerting to listen to all of these groans and gasps --a subtle reminder of one's own mortality. One day, I will be all bloated and gassy and uncomfortable, sitting in my orthopaedic chair, with my feet on a footrest to ease the pain of my gouty extremities... and maybe, unlike so many around me today, I will have an epiphany: Holy Shit!... What the hell am I still doing at work at age XX? I need to F*ing RETIRE already!!.

You see, it is my firm belief that too many people work long past the point that they are making any significant contribution to their workplace. At what point does going to work become a convenient way to hit the snooze button on the alarm clock of life (y'know, like gradschool can be for so many scared undergrads?: Grow up? No thanks, I think I'll read Nietsche and study radical Feminist thought for another 4 years... now, THAT will make me marketable!). In the words of Mr. Kenny Rogers, "You gotta know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em". So many people stay in the game for so long, it's years before they realize that, not only are they no longer welcome at the table, but they aren't even able to keep up with the revised rules. Maybe I sound like a jerk, but I guess I'm just alarmed at the number of grandpas and grandmas I work with. Are you OK financially? (If you aren't, that's a whole different kettle of fish).... then buy a frigging Winnebago! Go fishing! Spend time with your family! There is more to life than work! We'll find someone to replace you, honest.

On a completely different note, if "How many gazebos do you she-males need" isn't the best line ever spoken on The Simpsons, I don't know what is.

Word.