An Idiotic Knife to her Heart

A GOOGLE search on Natalia Glebova, the Russian-born Canadian winner of Miss Universe 2005, reveals numerous alarming possible scenarios of mistaken-identity.

A Czech golfer, a 35-year-old Russian internet bride, and a Webcam girl all share this name, which I imagine must be something like the russian version of "Jane Smith".

Anyway, in an idiotic move by the City of Toronto, OUR Natalia, a stunning raven-tressed, blue-eyed 23-year old Ryerson student, was recently banned from the Thai festival at good old Nathan Philips Square this weekend on the grounds that

"Activities which degrade men or women through sexual stereotyping or exploit the bodies of men, women, boys or girls solely for the purpose of attracting attention are not permitted on the square."

I don't know what the Thai festival folks had in mind, but I can't imagine it would have involved much exploiting of Ms. U's body, which, unless I'm mistaken, usually appears sheathed in a full-length dress topped by a tiara and circled by a sash. The whole HIV awareness thing that Glebova has adopted as her pet cause doesn't exactly lend itself to the raunchy bikini contest antics that the bylaw was designed to prevent.

Sexual stereotyping? Hmm... debatable. Some would say --but I wouldn't-- that pageants are inherently exploitative and therefore, anyone who wins one is being sexually stereotyped and degraded.

However, I'm certain that it could not have been too long before somebody at City Hall pointed out that, given the City's enthusiastic endorsement and participation in other "cultural" events like Gay Pride and Carribana, both of which feature multitudes of gyrating and thrusting quasi-nude men, women, boys or girls, it might be best to interpret the by-law with a bit more discretion.

The response on the Canada.com
Sound-Off board to this case of political-correctness-run-wild has been incredulous and highly entertaining to read, to say the least.

Mayor Miller has since rescinded the ban, claiming the by-law was "misinterpreted" and left some apologetic messages on Ms. Glebova's voice-mail. Don't hold your breath for that return call, Dave.

R.I.P. Jimmy Doohan

Scotty died today. Paul is wearing a black armband and sipping Glenfiddich as he watches old VHS tapes of the OS. Let's face it, Kirk was a pantywaist. Bones was a one-note character who grunted and bugged his eyes out alot. Spock? Totally overrated.

The true heart and soul of the show was the Scotsman in the bowels of the ship, sweating it out over those dilithium crystals, always trying to give 'em more power! The guy who played Scott was a Canadian WWII vet, who stormed the beaches on D-Day and took four kraut bullets, one of which robbed him of a finger.

Why he never kicked Kirk's ass and took over the controls of the ship, I'll never know.