I'm not sure you HEARD ME!... There's some SNAKES on this Mothaf*ckin' PLANE!

Somebody in the Rotten Tomatoes Forum smells a hit. It stars Sam Jackson, and it's called-- I shit you not-- Snakes On A Plane:

Snakes on a Plane is going to be the Top-Grossssssssing film of 2006 because finally Jackson has found a worthy co-star since John Travolta that will finally up his game and make the back and forth interplay between the two entertaining. Kind of like when global superstar Jackie Chan hooked up with Chris Tucker and finally delivered a legitimate blockbuster hit that people in the States could enjoy. Same deal here. In 2006... snakes will be to Samuel L. Jackson what Chris Tucker was to Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour movies.

Do not for a second underestimate the underlying interest people have always had for snakes and the untapped potential they have to seriously kickstart the currently lukewarm movie industry. Everybody loves snakes, even the people who hate them, so this film is hopefully going to finally break down the walls and barriers and alleviate some of the long-standing stereotypes people have had with regards to this underrepresented species. Depending on how they are depicted in this already much-debated film, the potential Snakes has to significantly impact the visibility and overall acceptance of snakes in modern cinema is palpable. Snakes on a Plane is going to do for snakes what Brokeback Mountain has already done for gay people.... remember this.

Jackson may say this is just another throwaway movie for him. Lucky for him, 2006 may very well prove to be the Year of the Snake

Holy Blood, Holy Bunk

I'm quite gratified to hear that the "soon-to-be a major motion picture" The Da Vinci Code-- that formulaic, problematic, and highly over-rated novel, is getting its comeuppance. Anyone who has bothered to probe the roots of this pseudo-historical work of fiction will already be aware that it borrows heavily from Baigent and Leigh's Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Indeed, Dan Brown makes little secret of this, going so far as making the name of one of the characters in his novel an anagram of Baigent and Leigh's names.

It turns out the feckless Brown may have borrowed a bit too heavily from the 1982 conspirazoid opus authored by two so-called "religious scholars" Michael Baigent (BA Canterbury U.) and Dr Leigh (PhD Stony Brook New York State University -Stony Brook U? Is that an online university?) who are now suing Brown's ass for plagiarism. A legion of real religious scholars have already dismiss the oddball theories found in HBHB as a load of nonsense time and time again, but a high-profile court case will likely drag Baigent and Leigh's pungent ideas out into the light of day yet again, exposing the Priory of Sion Hoax and other ludicrous theories to a much wider audience than ever before.

Let the bloodletting begin, I say!