Harry Knowles

a.k.a. the big red dude
a.k.a. Headgeek

has diabetes.

the founder of AICN drops that tidbid on his loyal readers rather abruptly in this review of the new flick The Ruins. After his review, I think I just have to see this film… you see, I too was at Palenque, and I can recall that the jungle did indeed loom threateningly…

The big surprise is the outpouring of geek love and support in the talkbacks. In the past, some people have been absolutely vile with Harry, mocking his obesity along with his idiosyncratic writing style and his self-regard. This time, there is concern and good wishes.

He’s rather ludicrous -- by his own admission -- almost a cartoonish figure, is our Mr. Knowles, with his gigantic ginger head fringed with a chinstrap beard and long hair “like an irish setter” as he has described it. To me, he looks like a cross between late Jerry Garcia and Slimer from Ghostbusters, or rather, Slimer’s unseen red cousin.




Harry and Slimer: kindred spirits







And I loathe his ridiculous politics, as do many denizens of AICN, who regularly implore him to stick to movies, and not spew his leftwing nonsense in his reviews. Take for example, the poster who wrote the following nasty diatribe after Harry commented on the film Day Zero in his inimitable style: Imagine that John McCain wins the next election (this isn’t the premise – but merely how we could get to the premise in our reality) and decides to truly create a 100 year presence in Iraq.

Harry, you're a fucking moron slave
by expert_40
Feb 26th, 2008
07:35:22 AM

"Let's say if John McCain gets elected."

I despise ideologues, Harry. I despise them on both sides, because they truly don't know how stupid they sound when they let ridiculous statements like that escape their mouths. They don't understand how much of a slave they are, listening to others to know what to believe in. Sheep.

First of all, there's a reason why the military in this country is the best it's been since WWII. IT'S ALL VOLUNTARY. There's a saying we have in the Marine Corps: U Signed the Mother-fucking Contract.

The draft will never be reinstated, and for people to even insinuate it would be is ideological bullshit. Especially if they insinuate John McCain would do so. ESPECIALLY if they say "if he gets elected" like that gives him the power to do so without consent of Congress.

Harry, for the love of God, for someone who claims to love things like individuality and open-mindedness, you're a sheep who's only open-minded to his own beliefs.

Open your fucking eyes, stop inundating every word you write with your ideology and free your mind from slavery. Politics should be about voting your consciences, voting for the best person, no matter what party they are, or what color or gender they are. That's the way Jefferson wanted it. Man, I thank God I'm not a devoted slave like you or Rush Limbaugh or Al Franken or Ann Coulter.

"Imagine if John McCain got elected," well, Harry, I know that freezes your heart, but I can think of scarier things than 4 years of a moderate who doesn't walk in lockstep with his party, who gets along with the Democrats and doesn't mind working TOGETHER for real change, instead of you know, just talking about this abstract thing, "change," like one of the other candidates. That being said, I haven't yet made up my mind (isn't it great to actually be able to use your mind instead of it being enslaved to the left or the right? I think it is) yet, but when I do, my conscience, not ideology will guide me. No political party tells me what to believe in or who to vote for.

We know you're a fucking slave, Harry. So, for the love of God, stop reminding us with every post you write.

But nevertheless, there is no denying the man loves movies in a way few other people do... and I have to admit that his joy and wonder is infectious: He has gotten me pretty jazzed up about a movie through his sheer enthusiasm more than once.

His is a deep abiding love that has seen him through some major trials, including the death of his mother, his near paralysis, and 20 years of state and federal Bush regimes –Eagle Scout Knowles is a Texan, but he’s no red-state cowboy… he’s one of those exotic lefties from the Democrat enclave of Austin.

At any rate, diabetes is a disease that demands a serious commitment to healthy living, and Mr. Knowles has not been known for that type of thing during his decade-plus in the public eye… but I’m a believer in “second acts”, and as someone who has struggled to stay trim for almost his entire life –and who recently ran his first 10k run in nearly 2 years, I wish him well as he embarks upon this significant lifestyle change.

Bonne Chance, Headgeek.

Part 1 in a 37 Part Series: The Wit and Wisdom of Gisele Bundchen

Gisele on Acting:

“It was not like I was taking myself seriously and being like, OK, now I'm going to be an actress and I'm going to do a Shakespeare movie.”

“I think it's better when you're natural, when you just do whatever you want, instead of doing classes where I see all these other people holding back because they've been trained with certain skills or techniques. I'm like, whatever.”

“I'm not an actress, you know. I don't know what's going on. And I'm supposed to be the villain.”

“There always are these nightmare people around. Ugh. Anyway, they're always bugging. And they did get some pictures of me. They're so stupid.”

Gisele and Lebron Leibowitz cover sets back race relations 70 years; Obama yet to comment

***

I have to admit, Hillary made me laugh

Her husband, however, is starting to get scary: As we feared, Bill is going f-ing mental!

***

Go Sens Go

(At this point, what else can you do but cheer them on and hope for the best?)

Three Games To Midnight


Wayne Scanlan plays Cassandra :

Beware, Sens Army !


Three games to avoid infamy

Wayne Scanlan

The Ottawa Citizen
Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The shock is not that a bunch of teams are scrambling for a playoff berth in the final days of the NHL schedule.

That's just hockey business as usual.

The shock is to find, on April 1, the mighty Ottawa Senators among those teams.

Securing an 11th-hour playoff spot? That was always the patter from below, the noise of mice and their scurrying little feet trying to make a meal out of year-end table scraps.

Hockey's aristocracy -- and the Senators have been among them for the past four seasons -- were more concerned with the loftier business of resting their stars and aligning their talent for playoff detail.

Fine tuning a big machine for the bigger days head.

Let the middle class of the league fight to the death in the dying days of an 82-game schedule.

Well, welcome to the middle class, Ottawa. See how the other half lives.

It comes down to this for the Senators -- finish strong in the final three games, beginning with tonight's vital game against the physically battered Montreal Canadiens at Scotiabank Place -- or risk being associated with one of the biggest collapses in NHL history.

"It's not anything we're thinking about," says defenceman Chris Phillips, of the possibility of Ottawa missing the playoffs for the first time since 1996.

They would be thinking about it if it were to happen -- because no one would let them forget it.

The Senators would go down with baseball's 1964 Philadelphia Phillies and other infamous meltdowns late in the season.

For the first three months of the season, the Senators were the best team in the East, if not the best in the entire NHL.

When the Senators defeated the Detroit Red Wings in a January game, there were those who claimed the Senators were the class of the league.

By then, their mortality was already showing. Defensive mistakes were leading to big goals. The goaltending was an issue, whether Martin Gerber or Ray Emery was in net.

(They were both tardy -- Emery getting to practice; Gerber getting back into position after a save).

The captain, Daniel Alfredsson, got hurt, and he continues to play hurt. As the losses piled up, the team's confidence slipped away.

Ancient history, says Senators general manager and head coach Bryan Murray, using every ounce of his guile and experience to hold this thing together, to hold his own cool while the media pile on.

"This week," Murray says, "is all I can concern myself with."

It's concern enough for the entire team. For all of the so-called Sens Army that supports them in the stands and on the street.

It comes down to this: three games, all against divisional rivals (Montreal, Toronto, Boston). If Ottawa can win two of three, it has nothing to worry about until the first round of the playoffs begins. But if the Senators lose two of three games in regulation, they may have to worry about Washington or Carolina squeezing them out.

As Murray reminds us, this microscopic examination of a frightening scenario is hardly Ottawa's alone. Other teams currently just below, and even just above, Ottawa in the standings are also living dangerously.

Those teams, though, didn't start out with a 15-2 record to start the season. Those teams weren't 25-8-4 two days after Christmas.

Still, it's too early to fully dwell on how far the Senators have fallen because there remain three games to break the fall. Three games to get it right after so much went wrong.

After 79 games, the defending Stanley Cup finalists have given up an astounding 240 goals against -- more than any team in the East except Atlanta, Tampa Bay and Toronto. Not exactly the kind of company a team wants to keep.

The Senators haven't given up this many goals in a season since the post-expansion season of 1995-96, when a four-year-old Ottawa franchise surrendered 291 goals while finishing last overall in the NHL with 18 victories and 59 defeats.

"We're trying to stay positive," Phillips says.

Thanks for the reminder. Let's not dwell on how miserably things have gone when there are three precious games left to create a do-over in the postseason.

There is hope, and it comes draped in bleu, blanc et rouge.

The Canadiens, still trying to nail down first place in the Northeast Division, have had a hard time with the Senators this season. Already losers of five of the seven meetings, Montreal has been ravaged with injuries lately.

Captain Saku Koivu and top defenceman Michael Komisarek are out. So is defenceman Francis Bouillon.

Everything is there for the Senators to take a giant step toward a playoff spot, with a single win against a rival it owns on home ice.

"There's no sense getting in the playoffs if you can't win some games to get in the playoffs," Murray says.

"So, let's do it."

Last season at this time, the Senators had a "magic" about their play, says the coach.

Minus the magic, the Senators hope some old fashioned hard work might be the answer.

It's how the working classes deal with their problems.

Subscribers can read previous columns by Wayne Scanlan at ottawacitizen.com . He can be reached at wscanlan@thecitizen.canwest.com.

© The Ottawa Citizen 2008

Montreal Delenda Est !

All Out of Bubblegum

If you recognize that cryptic title as the tail end of a movie line, then like me, you probably had your mind blown by a John Carpenter 1980s classic.

I watched They Live again recently, and it is every bit as awesome as the A.V. Club would have us believe it is it is.

It features perhaps the craziest most balls-out street fight I've ever seen. Keith David and Hot Rod go at it like a couple of rabid dogs over their differing perspectives on eyewear:



If there was any justice in this world Roderick Toombs would be a genre superstar on par with Kurt Russell.

***

Other odds and Sods

I was on the fence over whether Obama deserved plaudits for "the speech"

Then I read Hitchens:

But is it "inflammatory" to say that AIDS and drugs are wrecking the black community because the white power structure wishes it? No. Nor is it "controversial." It is wicked and stupid and false to say such a thing. And it not unimportantly negates everything that Obama says he stands for by way of advocating dignity and responsibility over the sick cults of paranoia and victimhood.

As usual, he is right. Sorry, Barry. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

***

Guaranteed to give Cherniak an aneurism:

Lionel Chetwyn's History of the Trudeau Era

Yes, Virginia, There Are Commies

So says Zombie of San-Francisco-based Zombietime:

The communists are still here, and they're just as dangerous as they ever were, and have not relinquished their goal of overthrowing the United States and bringing an end to the capitalist system. And the reason I'm aware of this fact perhaps more than the typical person is that I often attend anti-war rallies, which is where communists really come out of the woodwork. In fact, not only are many of the people at these rallies up-front communists, but the rally organizers -- groups like ANSWER and World Can't Wait -- are themselves communist organizations. I'd even go so far as to venture that the entire anti-war protest movement has been completely taken over by communists.

Not pseudo-communists. Not people whom I'm insulting by casting an outdated epithet at them. Not people who in all innocence have some overlap with communist philosophy. Not mere left-wingers. Communists. And I'm tired of being afraid to lay it on the line and call it as I see it. I know history very well, and communism is a failed ideology that has only brought misery and oppression wherever it has triumphed. There. I've said it.

So, since when is it forbidden to mock one's ideological opponents? If the Rethuglicans can poke fun at the Demoncrats and vice-versa, why can't I taunt the communists by calling them by their least favorite word, commies? Who exactly could I be offending here -- except for the communists themselves? And if they're imaginary, then I'm not offending anyone, right?

What follows is a disturbing little photo essay, featuring the bottom-feeders from A.N.S.W.E.R and other assorted radical leftist malcontents, and at the end, Zombie concludes:

Now, to be frank, I don't think that these up-front kind of communist groups have any real chance of success at actually overthrowing the American system by force. They're almost buffoonish in their obviousness. But who I really do worry about are the "stealth communists," who introduce Marxist thought and collectivist philosophy into academia and mainstream entertainment without announcing what they're doing. These much more clever communist ideologues follow (knowingly or not) the writings of Antonio Gramsci, the Italian communist theorist who proposed infiltrating the schools and the media so as to subtly indoctrinate generations of youngsters, eventually paving the way for a "soft revolution" once a tipping point is reached in society. Already, Marxist thought patterns have become so standard in American mainstream cultural discourse that most people don't even know they're mimicking communist slogans.

But that's a different essay altogether.

There are legions of well-meaning principled anti-war protesters who believe in democracy, the rule of law, and the values that form the foundation of our society... I just think some of them should seriously consider whom they are making common cause with when they choose to participate in marches organized or sponsored by anti-democratic/revolutionary groups.

Something to ponder the next time you consider strapping on the ol' paper-mache head and joining the costumed capering performance artists prancing around an anti-war march.