Aries Spears

Uncle L, Snoop, DMX, and Young Hov, in two minutes:

embed removed... was screwing up my template

Heritage

Remember those Heritage Minute vignettes on CBC? I don't recall having seen one for a while, but some of the better ones still stand out in my mind: The frenzied pace and almost unbearable tension of the Halifax explosion vignette. That one had a real sense of doom and significance. Or the beautifully shot encounter between Cartier and an aboriginal chief and his retinue, and the resulting miscommunication that led to the name of our country being a word for "village". Then there's the one which closes with Jean Nicolet gazes upon the "Great Water" in wonder, thinking he has found the path to China, as the narrator informs us that he had just discovered Lake Michigan-- a reminder to Canadians that so much of this continent, and not just Canada, was charted and explored by the functionaries and religious men of New France.

Perhaps one of the more poignant ones was the one that takes place on Juno Beach, where a young trumpet player entertains his buddies amidst the wreckage of war while planes roar overhead. It's only at the end of the minute that we discover that the young trumpet player is a broadcaster and local personality familiar to anyone who ever lived in Toronto over the past 60 years or so, the "Mayor of Little Italy" Johnny Lombardi.

It's worth revisiting some of these heritage minutes, just to refresh your Canadian pride, and remind yourself of what a fascinating history we have.


The origin of Winnie the Pooh

Happier Times



Engagement Party: December 2005. Adiba was happy for her daughter that night.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Kahlil Gibran

Difficult Times

Until it happens, you really don't know how you are going to react when someone close to you passes away suddenly.

My mother-in-law left us last week. She was very young to have died of a heart attack.

I was very sad when it happened. Sad and shocked.

I was shocked when it happened, because I was there.

Although I did my best to help, there was nothing I could do.

The doctor assured me no one could have saved her.

Still, there was the guilt, and the grief, and a feeling of utter helplessness as I watched her family suffer.

But there was also love. And pride.

I've never been prouder of my beloved wife, who was so very strong, so very brave, even as her heart must have ached so deeply.

I was so proud of the way the family came together, too.

Brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts and cousins and friends.

Everyone pitched it.

They may drive you nuts at times, but when the chips are down, your family is who you count on.

We loved her.

We will miss her.

Now, we have to be there for each other.

And love each other the way she would have wanted.

Saudi Muttawa's favourite song?



WHIP IT

Whip it Good!

Must Read Articles:

Allan Gregg on Multiculturalism in Canada

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond...

Al Andalus is reborn in the land of Cervantes

Blog deliquency

I've been put to shame by the Bearded backpacker lately, so I better get my act together. At least I'm not as bad as PAQ, who doesn't even have a blog yet, the lazy swine!

So in the absence of a PAQ blog, I will post his e-mail on our old high school classmate Kevin Durand:

Hey fellas,
I was watching the tube and notice old Kevin Durand has got a part in Smokin Aces. I still find it kinda weird seeing him in big movies. So I checked him out on imdb, which I hadn't looked at in a while, and he's got four or five things on the go including the lead roll in one movie, and another one with Russel Crowe and Christian Bale.

Just thought it was kind of cool.

Later,
Paq-Man

To which I responded:

Dudes, I know! He has a bald head, right? That frigger has gotten huge -physically, I mean, not so much in the business. Then again, he's doing pretty well if he has 4 or 5 things on the go. I think we can officially say he is a successful working actor, maybe on his way to becoming a very successful character actor, à là JT Walsh

The question is, can he pull a Michael Clark Duncan and graduate to starring roles on the strength of his quirky persona and imposing physique... can you guys imagine watching him accept a Golden Globe for something one day?



Kevin is the gigantic bald guy in the middle at about 1:24 in the trailer.

Incidentally, I meant "Frigger" in the nicest possible way. The phrase "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy" certainly applies to Kevin, who was the first person who bothered to introduce himself and talk to me when I transferred to St. Ignatius High School in my second semester of Grade Nine.

Today's links

Stanford douches go after 24; hilarity ensues

Fascinating, morbid math:The Josephus Problem

Speaking of morbid: Wrestling is a tough business...just ask "Mass Transit"

I'm afraid she doesn't have a leg to stand on

Scumbag of the month: Congo President Denis Sassou-Nguesso

My "piss you off" link of the day

And to close, now that you are amped by the trailer, and enraged by the links, possibly my favourite drinking song lyrics of all time, from Drink and Fight, by the Mudmen:

Chorus:
We're gonna drink and fight and drink and fight and drink and fight some more,
we're gonna drink more stuff than anyone, and go and fight some more,
so grab your friends and neighbors, and punch 'em in the eye,
and raise another glass and sing the Dublin lullaby.

O'Leary was a bastard, I gave his head a crack,
I drank a pint of Guinness, and puked all over his back.
O'Shaunnesy was singin'with Patty in the back,
when Irish eyes are smiling, we'll punch them 'till they're black!
Chorus

O'Leary and O'Connell had been drinking pretty hard,
and had been sitting for a fortnight with Clancy at the bar,
he got so stewed that when he spewed, we swear he must've drowned,
so we kicked his ass, raised a glass, and bought another round!
Chorus

When I went out with O'Leary to Ol' McDonnell's wake,
we drank a lot of stout and ale, and ate a lot of cake.
O'Malley singin' Danny Boy filled my eyes with tears,
so I kicked his nuts right into his guts, and had another beer!
Chorus

Link-a-palooza

I think I tried to get into Queer musicology that one year, but the class was full, so I took Advanced Stairclimbing instead.

What are the top Youtube flicks? Here are the most linked-to ones, according to Technorati.

It turns out that High Fidelity, that really hip relationship movie from a couple years ago featuring a self-absorbed jackass actually starred one. the guy can't hold a candle to Piven anyway.


Don't disturb my circles, I'm building I giant kick-ass claw, you fool!

Season 6 Begins


Just to get in the right frame of mind, I re-watched Season 5 of 24 over the past week, and was amazed at how genuinely well the whole thing hangs together. Note: Any spoilers I'll write about are only spoiler for those who did not see Season 5. I myself have avoided, as much as possible spoilers for Season 6, since I love surprises. Last year, I smelled a rat when they revealed

SPOILER
that President Logan had orchestrated the day's events
END SPOILER

but upon further review, that plot contrivance actually holds up --thanks largely to the stellar writing and Emmy-worthy performance of Greg Itzin.

Notwithstanding the demise of several old stalwarts --something that some fans maintain was done purely for shock value-- I enjoyed Season 5 a great deal overall, and was quite gratified to note some things I had missed the first time I had seen the shows on network TV last year.

SPOILER
In spite of some claims to the contrary from disgruntled Tonyphiles (see Almeida is God, for example Jack's reaction to Tony's death was moving and entirely appropriate. I guess I was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor when the episode first aired to notice that Jack wept over Tony. That being said, he certainly couldn't afford to mourn him for too long --this is 24,after all! The next episode started with a sheet being drawn over the corpse, and Jack lept back into action.

The perfunctory way in which Tony was seen to have been dispatched has led to some speculation that he may not, in fact, be dead, and that we are in for a Bauer-like resurrection in some future season. A bad Tony going head-to-head with Bauer in a future season? That's something the Producers should at least consider --After all, CTU has a well-established tradition of hiring personnel destined to become rogue agents and turncoats --somebody needs to talk to them about HR best practices.
END SPOILER

Now it's 18 months later: Jack Bauer, last seen beaten to a pulp in the bowels of a Chinese cargo ship, is back from an extended stay as a guest of the Chinese. CTU, never the most stable of work environments, has seen some changes: Audrey is no longer "representin'" for the DOD. Milo, the contractor from season 1 is back at CTU --this time as a middle-management type, apparently. Chloe has been promoted --and her ex-hubby Morris, brought in at the end of last season, is still kicking around, apparently; Edgar is still SPOILER dead END SPOILER; and Bill is still in the big chair --for now. We all know that CTU LA directors have a pretty lousy survival rate in that job. Former President Logan is disgraced and in jail and Wayne Palmer is in the White House. There are also a few new faces, some of which, if past seasons are any indication, will not be around for long. This show is ruthless in the way it mows down series regulars, let alone guest stars, which are basically cannon-fodder.

One of the people I don't expect to see around for too long is this guy.

Yup... I predict even Raj Binder himself will be unable to avoid the wrath of Jack Bauer. Here's hoping he doesn't go out like a punk!

Day Six Begins Tonight!

2007: The Future is Upon Us




In the first weekend of the New Year, I saw what will probably end up being one of the best films of 2007. It is called Children of Men and stars the criminally underrated Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, and Michael Caine. It is based on the eponymous P.D. James novel, and it is jaw-dropping, but I hesitate to tell you anything about it simply because I would not want to lessen its visceral impact. A story set in the Great Britain of the near-future, it is everything V for Vendetta could have been, had the one-hit wonderboy Wachowskis gone less preachy, simplistic and heavy-handedly "on the nose".

Director Alfonso Cuaron stuck 28 Days Later, Saving Private Ryan, and The Handmaid's Tale in a blender and sprinkled the concoction with his own visual flair to create a striking and genuinely intelligent Dystopian action-adventure flick. Unlike V for Vendetta, the audience is not spoon-fed political tripe and beaten over the head with "these are the good guys and those are the bad guys" exposition. There are no good guys or bad guys in this movie. Just desperate, despondent people with different agendas. It is at 93% at RT. Enough said. See it.

Speaking of dystopian... What the hell is going on in this country?

Finally, a bit late, but in a similar vein... Can't remember where I found this, but it is the perfect holiday greeting for the times:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishees. DISCLAIMER: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Merry Christmas!

It's our first one as a married couple, and the first time we have decorated our own tree. What do you think?

OK, so we went with the store-bought fakey kind, but we figured that since we will be spending alot of Christmases with our families, if we went for the authentic sapin de Noel we'd probably end up with a seldom-watered parched tree shedding needles all over the place. This way, we can still buy a real tree those years that we choose to, and have an artificial one for those years that we don't.

I've been thinking about time alot, lately. This year, we are doing Christmas with Nesrine's family, and going to the Ellard homestead for New Year's Eve. As we Ellard kids get older and marry into other families, I suppose this type of thing will occur more frequently, but it still feels a bit odd to not be home for Christmas. The last time I missed Christmas was the year I went to the Yucatan peninsula with some Montreal Friends. I think that was four years ago, but I may be wrong. I'm now decidedly into my third decade on this earth, and I can no longer say I "recently" entered my thirties. Already, my twenties are fading into the recesses of my memory so that I can no longer recall when certain things happened, exactly. When did I come to Ottawa? Was it five years ago?

It's odd, because I remember thinking the same thing a decade ago about my early teenage years during the eighties. What year did I first see "The Terminator" on video with Jason Ball? When did we move to Geraldton? What season was I the Assistant Captain for the Geraldton Goldminers hockey team? Was I in Peewee or Midget? The mundane details have tended to fade out first as I advance in years, but eventually, even those events from my late teens that at the time seemed so earth shattering --breaking up with Alison, doing basic training in Wainwright, Alberta -- have begun to take on a bit of a translucent quality in my mind's eye, as if I was watching the grainy footage of an old newsreel... I get the sense that I'm missing some of the detail around the edges, and just beyond the frame of the picture.

Some mind-blowing stuff has been happening to me lately that makes me realize how fast time is rushing by. First of all, I got back in touch with someone who was doing their Master's degree at the same time I was. He's now a PhD living in Toronto with a wife and kids. Realizing that was almost ten years ago floored me: Wait, I was in Graduate School almost ten years ago? It's true. The date 1999 on my MA confirms it: I started it in 1997. A friend of mine, whom I met as a bright, fiercely independent girl barely out of high school, who was so very cynical about love and relationships --she once called marriage a "social construct" -- will soon be a married woman. If you told me five years ago that she would be married by the time 2007 rolled around I would have laughed at you. But here we are: the wedding is in less than a week. I'm exceptionally happy that her and her husband-to-be, who is a real stand-up guy, are taking the plunge. It really is a great club to be in!

So time marches on, and the end of the year affords us all an opportunity to think about the time we have been given, and how we are spending it. Here's hoping I can spend more time with each of you in the new year, and in the many years to come.

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charmsley McBrayington: Loathing Leah

Best advice I ever gave myself about Leah Maclaren: It was after my second rage-induced stroke of the morning, as I recall, and as I slumped against the wall of the Second Cup, my left eyelid twitching, the crumpled pages of the Globe and Mail between my trembling ink-stained fingers, I told myself -- NEVER READ THIS COLUMN AGAIN.

Leah McLaren is the amalgam of everything I despised about myself and my friends when I was in my twenties: the narcism, the ridiculous self-importance, the grotesque sanctimony, the vapid self-indulgence, the lack of self-consciousness. The fact that she gazes out at me from her the headshot next to her byline, good-looking in an insolent nordic kind of way, just adds fuel to the bonfire of contempt her inane, thoroughly mediocre writings provoke. A WASP Rebecca Eckler, the Paris Hilton of the pen, McLaren has no peer when it comes to pushing my buttons... and now I hear she wrote a novel.

I want to do what's right. I want to head to Chapters with a jerrican of gasoline and a fistful of matches and burn the entire M section to cinders, in the event that any of her drivel may have somehow seeped from beneath the covers of her book and polluted Alistair Maclean's Guns of Navarone. Who's with me? Time is short, and Alistair is counting on us.


Questions Charmsley's been asking himself lately:

How did the Zionists get all those people to tattoo their arms so convincingly?

Is the world destined to fall under the tyranny of "frisbee people"?

Are immigrants to Quebec being turned into Quebecers rather than Canadians?

Have public servants always been reluctant to change their hours of work?

Does hypocrisy and stupidity come easily to Mallick, or does she have to make an effort?

How many of the negative reviews for Apocalypto are really about Mel Gibson's objectionable behaviour, rather than his skill as a director?

And what about Polanski? Was his art also judged through the prism of his actions?

How many Liberals straddle the line between anti-Israel, and anti-semitic? And will this have an effect on their support in Montreal and Toronto?

Who will be the first journalist to challenge the media consensus and potentially endanger their career by bravely point out that, far from being a hunk, young Justin Trudeau is actually a bit effeminate?

Prepare For Baueristic Brutality...

New season starts soon


Go here for all your Jack Bauer needs

Headshaker of the Day:

Santa in the Age of Political Correctness



Jawdropper of the Day:

Dude does Simpsons' theme on his guitar - Ay Caramba

Dion Wins!














Liberal establishment reacts

Endgame

Everybody's second choice turns out to be the man of the hour. Can Dion pull it off? It sure looks like he will.

Conservatives may have been praying for an Ignatieff win. It seems that what they will have to go up against instead is a charisma-deficient wonk with a formidable intellect and a strategic mind, (sound familiar?) one which is every inch the match for that of their own leader.

So, Canadian politics is about to get interesting... and alot smarter.

Mug's game

At this point, it is anybody's guess. Dryden left jaws on the floor by, gasp, showing a bit of passion. He ain't going out like a punk. Dion did OK, but whoever was supposed to time him on the floor of the convention should be drawn and quartered. The end of his speech will go unheard for all time, a victim of the rigorous timekeeping that is the order of the day for this convention.

Kennedy impressed, and he alone spoke of the need for Libs to do a bit of introspection... but how much of an apetite is there for that? I mean, who are we kidding? This is the Liberals we are talking about. Their number one priority is regaining power.

Rae spoke best to that inate desire, I think. He riffed sans script through his entire speech. Hebert suggested he may have damaged himself with Quebec delegates by speaking so little French, but that remains to be seen. It sounded to me like he was auditioning for the job of PM. Policy? Fresh ideas? Screw that! Bob Rae is the guy with experience and political smarts, the guy who can win the next election. Forget introspection, or a quest to cleanse the party of past sins. He is the cynic's choice; the guy who has the backroom boys in his corner and the guy who will deliver electorally as quickly as possible.

Joe Volpe was later seen welded to Rae's posterior. After first ballot, his butt belongs to Bob. hankering for a cabinet seat, Volpe? Never let it be said that Mr. Volpe ever let an opportunity to cheapen the political process pass him by.

This thing is Ignatieff's to lose and he may be in the process of losing it. The speech was so-so. He needed to set the place of fire to cement his place as the front runner, but he produced nary a spark. That, plus the first ballot results that show he did not reach 30% may mean that things will get awful interesting tomorrow. Let' s all have a gander...

Where's Bono?

Oh Yeah... I forgot

I've been watching the Paul Martin tribute and it is like a flashback to some ghastly Canadian-heritage sponsored variety show from the nineties, with Sheila Copps-approved publicly-funded CanCon drek like Natalie McMaster and Colin James... hey where are the Inuit Throatsingers? Aren't they up next? Oh, and Mark Tewkesbury is a real spazz isn't he?

The crowd leaves me with the impression that these people want to get the plaudits over with as quickly as possible so that they can sweep this PM relic into the dustpan and move forward. For a party used to being in power, there can't be that much fondness or nostaligia for a guy like Martin, who aimed so high, and fell so short. Slaying the deficit? Please. What have you done for me lately?

For a party that lovingly hearkens back to the golden years under Trudeau, one so proud of their history, these guys seem to have pretty short memories of late. After all, they are poised to crown a guy who would tear down alot of what Trudeau stood for, notwithstanding how the handlers spin it

In spite of what I wrote in my previous post, I really have no idea who is gonna walk away with this thing. Weston says Rae... What do you think? Kinsella is blogging on the spot, so you know you gotta check him out over the weekend... he's an SOB, but he's a real entertaining SOB!

They just showed a clip of some Mercer and Martin tomfoolery... Sure, Rick Mercer is great, but the folks who took up the mantle over at 22 Minutes have been pretty great lately, too! Majumder, Critch, and Crawford are really funny young guys, and they each have a strangely compelling brand of chemistry with each other and the milfy Cathy Jones.

Back to the Convention... Martin is speaking now. Just as he did on the night of his defeat last January, he is giving one heck of a speech. He always seemed tongue-tied and befuddled when he reigned supreme... Strange that humbled, he should be so eloquent! Bye Paul. You were a great Finance Minister... PM, not so much.

In other news...

Canadian War Resister? Nope, big lying bag of poop.

BONUS BORAT CONTENT!

Whaaat? No fermented horse urine?

Paul Prognosticates

For what it is worth, I think he is bang-on. Harper desperately wants to see Ignatieff win (the one candidate who cannot beat him over the head with the Afghanistan stick)... and that's why he threw him a lifeline with the Quebec motion. He could have left him twisting in the wind, but he didn't... why? Does Harper strike you as a charitable guy? No, he knows Ignatieff was in some trouble, so he rescued him. The Liberals will now try to bury the Quebec nonsense (note silly Quebec delegates' resolution already withdrawn), paving the way for the crowning of Prince Michael of the Ivory Tower.

Then watch Harper bury the gaffe prone Iggy next election.

A reminder: Wells' Rules of Canadian Politics.

Keep those in mind as you watch events unfold this weekend...

The Politically incorrect Nintendo character:



Soda Popinski made his first appearance in the arcade as the 'Champion of the USSR' in the 1984 game Super Punch-Out!!; although back then he was known under the less politically-correct name of Vodka Drunkenski.



Loads of links:


The Trainwreck Waiting to Happen

The Viggo Mortensen Epic you probably haven't heard about

People have a weird habit of getting thrown out of windows in Prague

VDH: We in the West write movies about the Prez getting killed, while elsewhere...

Slightly related to the Richards freak-out: Never mind the provocative title, it's a really interesting essay

How many ways can a dog return to his vomit?

One of the earliest sponsors of immigration to Canada, now almost forgotten

How would you like to have David Frum's old job?

My contribution: Christ Came Again; Imagine our surprise

Benedict XVI and the Heart of the Matter

From the tyranny of the Vancouverites and all their detestable enormities, Good Lord deliver us