Swompdonkey

Bachelor Update: Episode 2

This Jesse guy is already starting to piss me off. I was watching Ottawa lay a pasting on the Leafs, so I missed the first 20 minutes of the show. What do I see when I finally tune in? Jesse and Trish the leggy model, eating on some stage, apparently after some play or something. Trish stares at Jesse with her dull cow eyes, furrows her brow, and says something about not wanting kids. Jesse, tell me that this girl was not your choice your first date. Dude, you are killing me.

Cut to a montage of Trish saying some incredibly obnoxious and borderline offensive things to the other girls ("My mother taught me to be a golddigger"), cut to trish eating Jesse's face in the back of the limo, cut to me losing my lunch. This truly is a woman of little substance. I loathe her already. I need to recover. Back to the hockey game for a bit.

After the break, Jesse goes on a group date...one of the ladies, Suzie, catches a pass. Good for her! Following the pickup game, Jesse sits down for supper and inserts his foot into his mouth as an appetizer. Sometimes, too much truth is a bad thing. Jesse, the ladies don't want to hear about your countless one-night stands, "tired of waking up next to a stranger, eh?" Some raised eyebrows around the table. Yeah, they get it QB boy, you are a stud.

Every guy should have a devious female friend to spy on potential mates for him... Aha! The spy was the championship swimmer girl!!! I knew it! She speaks to our hero about Trish... clueless boy has a look of shock on his face. Trish - high maintenance? Say it aint so! Now I'm the one furrowing my brow.

Back at the house, one of the girls, Tara, calls him on his player ways... Jesse spouts some rubbish... Tara apparently buys it, for now. My favourtie girl of the bunch, Kristy the med student from Michigan drops a bomb on our boy and asks Jesse not to give her a rose. What a classy woman! Jesse tells us he is upset... pal, you have no idea. You just lost an A-lister, my man.

Meanwhile, Ottawa beats Toronto, and all is right with the world.

The rose ceremony: Blah blah blah... some crap about trust and challenge from our guy. Let the bloodletting begin: Katie, the girl who nearly got the boot last week but got through on a technicality, gets the first rose this time. Confirming my suspicion that he is too stupid to listen to his best friend, Jesse gives Trish a rose... and crazy-eyed Karen too? This guy just doesn't seem to have a clue. My brow is now permanently furrowed. Jean Marie looks like she is ready to eat tinfoil and shit bullets.

Next week Jesse is captivated by Trish's charms so his lady friend bitch slaps some sense into him... or something like that... and this show started off looking so promising....

Let the downward spiral continue.