Swompdonkey

Jack Bauer vs. James Ellard - interesting parallels:

When he's on duty, Jack Bauer is known for his brooding intensity.
After he eats garlic, James Ellard is know for his brutally intense breath.

When dealing with terrorists, Jack often has no remorse.
When watching TV, James often cannot find his remote.

Jack shot a lady in the knee because he wanted to make a man talk.
James is a man, but he walks like a lady because his knees are shot.

Jack and his co-workers use intelligence from the Government to track down threats.
Because of his lack of intelligence, James is no threat to his Government co-workers.

Jack once faced a biological disaster and took out mexican baddies in the same day.
James once created a biological disaster in his apartment after some bad mexican take out.

Jack sometimes wears a kevlar vest and sunglasses.
James sometimes wears a sweater vest and reading glasses.

Jack barely eats and can function on no sleep for 24 hours at a time.
One time James ate 24 donuts in his sleep.

Jack doesn't play around --he has real gravitas.
James usually gets slapped around when he tries to play grab-ass.

Jack's heart once stopped during torture. He was revived and proceeded to kill everyone in the room.
James' heart once stopped halfway into a bag of pork rinds. He was revived and proceeded to kill a six-pack of Keiths.

Jack Bauer took 24 hours to save the U.S. President.
James Ellard took 24 minutes to shave a nursing home resident.