Saturday, October 28, 2006

Michael Ignatieff: The Answer to a Question No One Needs to Ask

Need a Can of Worms Opened? Mr. Ignatieff is your man.

So, are we to revisit the question of Quebec sovereignty and the nature of Canadian Federalism for the umpteenth time? The PM, so far, has refused to bite.

The proposal has even spurred the formidable Andrew Coyne to revive his moribund blog and call "Bullshit" on the Liberal's revisionist history.

Don Martin speculates on the recognition of a "Quebec Nation", writing sardonically in in Friday's NP:

...one might well ask what Quebec would look like as a stand-alone "nation" outside a nine-province "country." For starters, it'll be an overtaxed island of red ink in a sea of balanced books. The province's Auditor-General recently declared Quebec's books, with the largest per capita debt in North America at roughly $118-billion, are but a slab of fiscal fudgery. The debt could be even greater, fed by a $5.3-billion annual deficit despite a markedly higher tax regime.
Those living in Quebec now claim $60,000 less in assets, earn $2,500 below the Canadian income average and, as former Quebec premier Lucien Bouchard noted, fall far short of a hard puritan work ethic. They work two fewer hours weekly and claim three more sick days per year than Ontario. They rack up almost half of all strike and lockout work stoppages in Canada and their construction industry is shut down for two weeks in July, thus forcing a seasonal workforce to down tools during its peak season.


Honestly, I'm tempted to say it is time for Quebec to join the EU!

Paul Wells, that Porcine Dion groupie, is getting as worked up at the latest hare-brained scheme to "recognize" Quebec masterminded by Ignatieff's supporters as he has been over the media's steadfast refusal to recognize the brilliance of his man Steph. Between that, his quirky jazz fixation, and his innovation fetish, he is getting a bit obsessive as he approaches middle age, ain't he?

Actually, I have no idea how old he is, but judging from his photo and TV appearances, he looks like he is pushing forty.

Don't get me wrong... I've always like the guy. He seems to have a sense of humour. I once spotted him on Sparks street, holding court at one of the shitty little patios that isn't D'Arcy McGee's and smiled in recognition. I couldn't recall his name at that moment, for some strange reason, but I knew he was a columnist who followed Federalism closely. I complemented him on his work and shook his hand, introducing myself as an Intergovernmental Affairs employee who read with interest his blog, he grinned at me and said "Scott Feschuk, nice to meet you!"

I only got the joke after looking up Mr. Feschuk

Har-de-har-har.

Feschuk is now his doppleganger at Macleans, which seems kinda funny, when you consider that Feschuk was once Paul Martin's speechwriter... and most readers of Inkless Wells know what Paul thinks of our erstwhile PM.

I wonder what Paul Martin makes of all this, anyway...

*****

National Day of Disengagement and Retreat

All across Canada today, people are taking to the streets to say: We Give Up!

Thankfully, Al Qaeda have generously indicated their willingness to accept the surrender of us "Second-rate crusaders" and "Fanatical Christians" --Boy do they have our number!

They warn that failure to act according to the wishes of our homegrown peace activists, dupes, and jihadists will result in atrocities of the kind seen in London, Madrid, Bali, and of course, New York and Washington.

Never let it be said that Canada doesn't know how to respond to threats of this kind.

All across the nation, the white flags are being raised high.

And yet, what's this? the warlords in the Canadian Forces persist in ramping up their recruiter-recruiting efforts for this illegal colonial war of occupation, with CDS Hillier calling for "80,000 new recruiters?" Hippies everywhere are up in arms over the Newfie Warmonger's nefarious plan,

Oh, you mean every member of the Canadian Forces will now play a role in recruiting?

For a second there, we thought he was talking about actually brining in 80,000 new recruiters... it is reassuring to note that some McGill students have taken time to figure out what he actually meant, between hits from the bong

"Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." Barry Goldwater

*****

Booth saves Lincoln!: 1865 D.C. newspaper headline in alternate universe? It actually happened. It's fascinating to contemplate the intertwining of history's threads. Nevermind the "What Ifs" of alternative history fiction; the coincidences and flukes that abound in actual history are what make the discipline so fascinating to me.

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