Grief Can Be An Ugly Thing

I feel sick. I feel sick with sorrow over the death of a young soldier, a promising life cut short; but I am also feeling a bit sickened by what I have seen in the media today.

The repulsive media vultures have descended upon the distraught family and friends of the young Corporal and created an almost pornographic spectacle of their pain. In interview after interview, these well-meaning but clearly grief-stricken people have laid bare the young man's most intimate thoughts and feelings on what he may or may not have felt about what he was doing in Afghanistan. Surely, the private doubts and gripes in the phonecalls and letters home were meant for their consumption alone, and not designed to be unfolded before the eyes of a nation.

We are told that Corporal Boneca hated going out on combat patrol. He was haggard, lean, burnt out and worn out. He was also disillusioned with the mission, aparently. What infantry soldier currently deployed in Afghanistan relishes the prospect of life-threatening danger? What infanteer would not be exhausted from days of combat? Who among the over two thousand CF members there has not unburdened themselves to friends and family, trusting that these private thoughts and fears would be kept in some secret, sacred place? Who among them has not even felt some frustration over what must be a long and tortured process of fighting medieval zealots and bringing stability to a basket-case of a country. This is NEWS?

I turn with dismay to the Globe and Mail and see that a comment thread is hijacked by vicious assholes wielding conspiracy theories, revisionist history, and fifth-rate intellects
It is left to Sheldon Maerz --a PPCLI Captain currently stationed in Kandahar with whom I had the honour to serve while he was posted to the LLSR -- to set the record straight:

Sheldon Maerz from Kandahar City, Canada writes: To post number 39 - Bill, you were bang on until you attacked the memory of Lestor B Pearson, himself a veteran of the Great War, and someone who worked tirelessly in the years following for the betterment of Canada. But, given you are one of the view voices of logic on here, I can forgive your attack on a Great Canadian for the most part (as if it is my place to forgive you, but I trust you will know what I mean).To all you who know next to nothing of our past, Bill is completely correct - we are a nation forged in the fires of war, and when called up by world events, Canadians have fought valiantly on the fields of battle like no others. Perhaps if more Canadians knew something of their own history, there would be fewer spewing the dual false sentiments that we are only a 'peacekeeping nation' and that we are currently fighting someone else's war. Canada has every reason to be here, it is in our own self interest as a nation to assist the Afghan people secure a more stable, more peaceful future. No one here believes Afghanistan will ever resemble Canada or any other western Democracy but we must do our part to attempt to ensure it never again becomes a incubator of hatred of things Western. The biggest falsehood being perpetuated by those against our role here is that the Afghan people don't want us here. The truth is the vast majority of them see us as their best chance in the last thirty years for something other than repression, insecurity and death. Finally, please stop all the parallels to the Soviet Occupation - we are not an Occupation Force and we are not seen as such by anyone except the forces of the Taliban, the foreign fighters, and those who are against our presence for their own self interest (narco warlords,etc). Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but pls stop the shallow name calling and before sounding off, try becoming informed.
Capt Sheldon Maerz

Try not to take it personal, Sheldon.

In our grief, let us consider the facts, and honour this brave young man as he deserves. Tony was an infantryman. He harboured no illusions of his role, notwithstanding what some may now be claiming. From minute-one that you enter the Infantry school, you are taught that your role is to close with and destroy the enemy. Period. Full stop. Yes, he was a reservist --a reservist who had undergone rigourous "work-up training" in the months preceeding his deployment. He had been screened psychologically and physically, he had been counseled, he had been warned and admonished. He was no stranger to Afghanistan, having served there on a previous tour. He went in with both eyes open. To say otherwise is to hold that he was incabable of understanding what he was getting into, to in effect infantilize the man (not boy, but man --He was twenty-one).

In their zealous quest for an "angle", some journalists are pissing all over this young guy's memory. They would paint a false picture of a frightened and disillusioned reservist, unable to cope: What a story, chief! Government sending untrained child-conscripts to a warzone and keeping them there against their will!

For my part, all things being equal and taking Sheldon at his word (who is there ON THE GROUND, mind you) I'm inclined to believe the words of the young man's father:

OTTAWA (CP) - The father of the soldier killed in Afghanistan earlier this week denies his son was ill-prepared for his dangerous tour-of-duty, contradicting claims from some of the soldier's friends. Cpl. Anthony Boneca's father Antonio said his son "loved being in the army" and was aware of the situation he was facing. "In all my conversations with my son, there was never any mention of him not being well enough or fit enough to carry out his military duties," Boneca's father said.
"He said it was difficult to cope with the weather, the sand, and the situation the young children endured (but) he was proud to make a difference in their lives and said he wished these children could live like we do in Canada." Boneca's father disputed reports that suggested his son felt he was poorly prepared for his second stint in Afghanistan.


Shame on the media for this spectacle. Keep them the fuck away from the repatriation. They would dishonour its solemnity it by their presence.

****

I exclude from my scorn one journalist in particular. Christie Blatchford. She really is something else. Like Sheldon Maerz, she is currently on the ground in Afghanistan, "embedded", as they say, and reportign for the G&M. Check out her reporting on their Web site --it is worth a read. She did a little Q&A today from Kandaharand I loved the way she puts this pompous prick in his place:

Liam Dynes, Toronto/Thunder Bay, Ont.: To embed or not to embed reporters in a war zone is no longer the issue - as some previous commenters have put forth. It is a given at this point. My observation comes from what is done by a reporter put in that position. I ask you whether you truly see more value in your method of[reporting on what you see as an embed] than in a clear reporting of the facts at hand. We see cursory mentions of these soldiers in deteriorating physical condition and of questionable morale, but we see no examination of actual situation versus government spin - Minister O'Connor yesterday, for example. You mention in your first [answer today to Mr. Sheppard's question]that "most" of the men are in good spirits. What about the rest? Are those in good spirits regular army? Is there any correlation between morale and reserve status? We hear nothing about Cpl. Boneca's apparent disillusionment with his situation from those who would be there to hear it and see it firsthand, get no reporting of the conditions that led to it (an injured ankle that took more than a week to be treated, patrols extending themselves more than two weeks beyond their scheduled length and capacity for food and water). But we get plenty of literary examination of the pathetic fallacy of the Afghan countryside and its leporidaeic inhabitants (bunnies). Suffice to say, I'm a little perplexed. What is the reality over there?

Christie Blatchford: Thank you for explaining leporidaeic for me. Clearly you're very smart.

Look, I don't pretend to know the morale or state of mind of all our soldiers here, but I've met and spent time and watched in close quarters now hundreds of them, and interviewed dozens at length. You've heard nothing about Cpl. Boneca's apparent disillusionment from me, or anyone else here, because, in my case, I was in the middle of a firefight, and because the story came from The Toronto Star, which does not have a reporter here, but who interviewed the father of the young man's girlfriend.

And what government spin? I spend as little time as I can here at the safe big base, where the spin originates, when it does. Even here, I talk to actual soldiers, not the brass. I'm not writing spin, unless you consider spin to include what I see with my own eyes, from ordinary soldiers.

Thanks, Christie.

Inter Pericula Intrepidi


Today, I learned that the seventeeth Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan is a reservist from the LSSR

I never knew Corporal Boneca-- he joined after I left the unit-- but his family and the Lake Sups are in my thoughts and prayers.

In the piece on the CBC Web site, General Fraser is quoted:"I think the one thing we've got to understand is that he was doing outstanding work out there," Fraser said. "We really do have to admire his professionalism and his heroic efforts to help out people who are less fortunate."

OUTSTANDING was a term I remember hearing alot during the "lean years" when I was a Lake Sup (1993-1999). It's a common exclamation among soldiers. After a 2-day recce patrol, for instance, when the weather had alternated between driving rain and driving snow , and you hadn't caught a wink of sleep laid up in the patrol hide, the usual response the the OC's question "How did the patrol go, gents?" was a chipper "OUTSTANDING, sir!".

You see, Canadian soldiers take great pride in remaining cheerful in adversity. Maybe it is the strain of sang-froid and cool wit inherited through our brit heritage leavened with a bit of Canadian humility, but in the CF, it is always considered important to keep things light-hearted, even when the situation is grim.

Things seem grim in Afghanistan now, but we cannot forget that hundreds of young Canadians have willingly and in some cases eagerly signed up for this duty, knowing full well that this would not be a "peacekeeping" tour, and that some of them would not be coming home alive. Words cannot express the admiration I have for young guys like Corporal Boneca, a "weekend warrior" who was never "required" to go to Afghanistan and willingly put himself in danger for others --reservists volunteer for call-ups, they are not obligated to deploy overseas, as regular force soliders are. He went nonetheless, and he was doing outstanding work, doubtless because because he himself was an outstanding young man.

The motto of the LSSR is Inter Pericula Intrepidi -- Fearless in the midst of Danger. Corporal Boneca's sacrifice is the most profound demonstration of that ideal. God bless him.

Post-Mortem

Becks is done, and Rooney says there is no hard feelings. And about Ronaldo getting all up in his grill? He's willing to bury the hatchet.

Bury the hatchet... in his head

Reason 15,734 that some Grits make me puke:

Ethnic insta-Libs become pawns in sleazy leadership machinations.

From the G&M:
Mr. Karygiannis -- called Jimmy K in political circles -- has just given the go-ahead to all-out organizing in two ridings held by Liberal MPs -- although he won't say which ones.
There are ridings in which Mr. Volpe's campaign won't go all out, Mr. Karygiannis says. Sometimes it's a courtesy if the MP is another leadership candidate or someone who might back the campaign later. Sometimes the effort is just not worth it. There are ridings that have big numbers and signing up a few new ones won't help win new delegates. At a Tim Hortons in south Ottawa, he plays guess-the-nationality as a man walks through the parking lot. He shouts a greeting in Tamil, and discovers the man is from Guyana. Mr. Karygiannis tells him that he visited Guyana after floods there last year, when Canada provided aid, and the man, who identified himself only as Mr. Ali, starts to chat.
"Let me ask you something. Do you think it's time that Canada had an ethnic prime minister?" Mr. Karygiannis asks. Joe Volpe is ethnic, somebody who immigrated to Canada just like us, he tells him. He asks if Mr. Ali wants to join the Liberal Party, and Mr. Ali gives him a telephone number so that an organizer can call. "And I have a lot of family," Mr. Ali says. Later, Mr. Karygiannis remarks on his "killer closing line" -- "Is Canada ready for an ethnic prime minister?" -- and explains how it's done. "It takes 30 seconds to zero in on an individual and figure out if you can sign them up, if you've got something in common with them."
For him, it's where people come from. An MP since 1988, Mr. Karygiannis has assiduously courted ethnic communities, and has visited dozens of countries such as Somalia and Sri Lanka, often after natural disasters -- so often that his critics call him an international ambulance chaser. But he insists he is pressing the views of the communities he represents, helping push on immigration or trade matters. He helps them, and later, on campaigns like this, many help him, he says, even if he has to plead. "Put smoke signals out. Put lots of them out," he tells someone on the phone a few minutes later. "And you might want to tell them if they don't come out, my ass is grass."

Jimmy K, your ass is already grass.

Canada Day Weekend

I can't help but feel that I missed out on Canada Day this year. Somehow, I just wasn't feeling it. Perhaps I have been overdoing it with the running --50 K this week-- and that's why I was been unable to muster any enthusiasm for the holiday weekend.

But I don't think that's the real reason... in my heart of hearts, I believe my glum disposition was brought on by a dire premonition that things were not going to go as planned on Saturday. Sure enough, we all looked on in disbelief as first, Beckham made an early exit, and then Rooney was ushered off the field in ignominy on a questionable red card. After extra time, Lampard's missed penalty kick sealed the English side's fate, and brought an end to the quest to repeat as World Champions forty years later.

Sure it was Canada's birthday... but alot of people were holding a wake on the evening of July 1st.

Ain't you supposed to be separated by now?

Something I alluded to a few months ago. Quebec's "separatiste" movement is a sham. Dig the prophylactic metaphor Steyn uses at the end. And managing to work in Rue Ste Catherine.. brilliant

TRAVESTY

Ratner Surpases Singer BO; Fanboys weep, gnash teeth

Ecce Oilers

Classical photo composition. I'm not trying to be blasphemous... but Smitty was looking a little Christ-like as Whitney embraced him, no? You be the judge:



Murillo


Corregio


Ribera




"The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done"

Jim Matheson, The Edmonton Journal
Published: Tuesday, June 20, 2006 Article tools
Printer friendly

RALEIGH - Former Oilers stickboy Ray Whitney gave Ryan Smyth a hug in the handshake line and wasn't sure what to say.

"Normally when you shake hands after a series is over, you really don't care that much that you just beat them," said Whitney.

"But I looked into Ryan's eyes and I knew what it meant to him after all the years in Edmonton. I said on the broadcast after the game that if we weren't going to win the Cup this year ... being an Edmontonian, I wanted the Oilers to win, for sure. I tried to downplay it as much as I could, but the Oilers have been a part of my life as long as I can remember."

They Died With Their Skates On

Colby Cosh, the sometime NP columnist and native Edmontonian has been blogging up a storm throughout the Oilers' improbably playoff run. Now that it's all over, it's worth revisiting some of his pieces, and reflecting on what might have been.

The Oilers, who played like lions --Christ, they didn't even know they were beaten last night with one minute left to play, they were still hustling-- became, for a brief moment in this country's hockey history, Canada's team. Lord knows I was rootin' for 'em.

Spider-man 3 trailer?

Nope. But a damn impressive fake nonetheless.

And incidentally, does anyone remember THIS? Possibly the coolest teaser trailer that hardly anyone saw. I don't blame the studio for pulling it, but I marvel (no pun intended) and the grotesque coincidence that a major motion picture would use such an iconic image, only to have real life events re-write the script.

Guard against fakes! Equip yourself with A baloney detector kit

It's World Cup 2006, and the old man has gone into seclusion

He needs to concentrate on willing the boys sporting the three lions on to victory...

Other matters:

A Letter from Jesus

The Democratic Party react to Zarq's demise

Guest blogger feature: Charmsley Brayington's Carnival of Bile

Hey folks, ya know, alot of people say it's important to count your blessings.

I'm not one of them. I say it is more important to count other people's misfortunes. Lets face it, sometimes blessings are few and far between in this life. But darn it if schadenfreude don't feel good sometimes. Honestly... when somebody gets what's coming to 'em, how many of us can deny that we don't breath a sigh of relief and think "better them than me"?

So in that spirit, I give you today's list of unfortunates. Let us ponder the vagaries of fate that delivered them such powerful boots to the nutsack:


1. Joey Delissio


2. The Zarkman


3. Ambassador Mike "Why Now?" Wilson

4. Ralanis (or is it Alanyan?): The Canadian celebrity supercouple that never really took off


5. Senior Cabeza


and remember, if you and a friend are out for a walk in the woods and a bear suddenly appears and begins to chase you, you don't have to outrun the bear... you just have to outrun your friend. Sure there will be self-recrimination later, when you are perched in a tree, and Smokey is off somewhere groaning with indigestion while your pal works his way through his plumbing, but guess who'll be eating bacon and eggs for breakfast tomorrow at the ranger station, and who won't be a stool sample at the foot of a douglas fir? That's right sunshine! It's you.

Til next time, keep your chin up!

Shameless Plug for George

This is a picture from last year's wedding in Spain. The dude in the red shirt is my dashing young entrepreneur brother, who has been working on starting up a travel business with some friends. I know those first few months can be pretty challenging, so I figured I'd plug it here... even though I have no illusions about my site traffic. Ever little bit helps, right?

The name of the Company is
Exclusive X-cursions Travel, and they offer great discounts for vacations to Costa Rica. The buzz from some of my friends who have been there is that Costa Rica is on the verge of becoming a trendy tourist hot-spot (a la Thailand or Cancun), so now is definitely the right time to go before prices skyrocket.

Back to Blogulating!



I visited Saint John's for work a couple of weeks ago. What a charming town! Brightly painted houses like these are a common site there. If it wasn't for its isolation and the relatively high cost of getting to the Easternmost tip of Canada, I think it would be a real tourist gem!

Courtesy of my intrepid sister:The Park Avenue Plebe gets the legal pimp hand from Iraq vet

I showed this to a couple of so-called communications professionals, and they didn't get it! Scary:Safire's rules for writers

My blog twin EERIE...


I'm the Juggernaut...

Slow Boat to China

If Monday's season finale to 24 didn't get your juices flowing, go out to the garage, open the hood, hook the cables up to the battery, and clamp those babies on your earlobes, because I think you need a jump! SPOILERS FOLLOW

For starters, we have Jack, in fine form, slipping onto the nerve-gassy sub, which, as you know if you watched last week, is laden with all sorts of ordinance now aimed at major urban targets. Then we have him coaching the sole survivor of the Bierko attack, a wet-behind-the-ears petty officer, in the fine art of terrorist-throat-slitting; then, when the poor slob actually has to do it, the whole thing degenerates into a gruesome neck-knifing, a nauseating wet butcher's block sound punctuating the desperate clumsy jabbing. Somebody give the sound-man an emmy, he just caused me to lose my lunch!

The submarine: it is the space that made Wolfgang Petersen's Das Boot a masterpiece of cinematic claustrophobia, and caused famed nebbish Jared Fogel's dramatic weight loss, paving the way for his evil rise to power as dorkus superiorus. (Jared begat many a nerd immitator, it is true: Napoleon Dynamite, that little prick on the insipid Red Green Show, William Hung, but Jared is the original ) Now the interior of a submarine is once again put to good dramatic use as the location of the final three-way showdown between Bierko, Bauer, and Robocop.

I'll spare you the details, if you haven't seen the episode yet, but suffice it
to say that Jack pulls a variation of an oldie from the Season Two Closer out of
the bag to dispatch one of his nemeses. And all this in the first few minutes of the show!

Also, I seriously hope that Greg Itzin gets an Emmy for his performance this season. Weak and vacillating, and yet malevolent and mean-spirited all at once! His Logan was a truly repugnant character. I actually shuddered with discomfort and loathing during that scene that the First Lady had to pretend to seduce president Chuck to buy Bauer some time. Incidentally, Jean Smart was also fantastic as Martha Logan all season long. Give her a matching Emmy to go with her on-screen partner's!

In my book, Season Five was arguably the best season since Season Two.

Move weekend


On Friday, Joe came up from Toronto for a quick visit before heading up to Algonquin Park on a canoe trip.

On Saturday, we finished boxing everything up.

On Sunday, we picked up the rental truck and moved everything from the apartment to the new house.

Now it is Monday, and we find ourselves sore, dazed, and up to our elbows in "stuff" that needs to be organized and put away... Isn't it amazing how many possessions we seem to accumulate over time without consciously setting out to do so? I always considered myself a minimalist --I'm not one to pick up the latest gadget or status symbol just because everyone else has it; I have been steadfast in avoiding acquiring a cellphone, for example. And yet, the mask has now been pulled away, and I see myself, for the first time, as I truly am. I am a packrat, squirreling useless things away in the eternal hope that one day, I will find a use for them.

The reality is that ya gotta let go sometime, so now the long-deferred "day of the garbage bag" has arrived, and I must go forth and be ruthless with it.

Later

I once read a Mad Magazine parody
where a fast food restaurant offered a mystery value meal that was basically "Here's what we scraped off the grill last night...we're not sure what it is, but we're putting it in a bag and selling it to you".

So, in that spirit, here are some leftovers -- items I had collecting dust for a while. May they tide you over til I get back to blogging:

I must believe that there is hope for the world, and that, in the end righteousness will prevail. But in order for this to happen, we must be re-learn the ability to make moral distinctions between right and wrong.

Basically, what I got from this article is thatCardinal Pell's lack of ignorance is an obstacle to dialogue on Islam. It is precisely because he understands it that as a believing Catholic, he is prepared to point out its shortcomings as it is currently practiced. Why has tolerance (I don't care) become so intermeshed with its dull distant cousin, ignorance (I don't know)? Because if you don't know anything about a reality, it is easy to tolerate it. I don't know, therefore, I don't care.

The opposite of course, is to learn about something, and in learning, come to understand it. But knowledge and understanding is not equivalent to acceptance. In fact, once you know a great deal about something, morality demands that you speak out if it is wrong. Yes, that is "judgmental", and "discriminatory" Once upon a time to discriminate meant To make a clear distinction; distinguish among the options available, or To make sensible decisions; judge wisely.

Like with so many other topics, the Catholic Church offers a refreshingly unambiguous and blunt assessment of its main competitor religion and its adherents: They are in error. the following passage on the ethics of islam is from the article "Mohammed and Mohammedanism" in the Catholic Encyclopaedia Online:

It is hardly necessary here to emphasize the fact that the ethics of Islam are far inferior to those of Judaism and even more inferior to those of the New Testament. Furthermore, we cannot agree with Noldeke when he maintains that, although in many respects the ethics of Islam are not to be compared even with such Christianity as prevailed, and still prevails, in the East, nevertheless, in other points, the new faith — simple, robust, in the vigour of its youth — far surpassed the religion of the Syrian and Egyptian Christians, which was in a stagnating condition, and steadily sinking lower and lower into the depths of barbarism (op. cit., Wollaston, 71, 72). The history and the development, as well as the past and present religious, social, and ethical condition of all the Christian nations and countries, no matter of what sect or school they may be, as compared with these of the various Mohammedan countries, in all ages, is a sufficient refutation of Noldeke's assertion. That in the ethics of Islam there is a great deal to admire and to approve, is beyond dispute; but of originality or superiority, there is not. What is really good in Mohammedan ethics is either commonplace or borrowed from some other religions, whereas what is characteristic is nearly always imperfect or wicked.

*****
Sesame classics

Johnny Cash singing Don't Take Your Ones To Town? Amazing --If this does not bring a tear of nostalgia to your eye, you may not have a soul. One of my fave's is "Born to Add", featuring a leather-jacket wearing muppet doing a suprisingly good cover of one of the Boss's classics. There's alot of us adders on the Jersey shore -- a line good enough to have been in the original.

*****

Uh, is there any place cooler than Montreal? I lived there for a year, and as far as I know, there isn't. But what is the price of cool? It's pretty hefty, it turns out.

An editorial in the Gazette lays it out in stark terms:

We Montrealers have less disposable income than people with comparable jobs in other cities. Even those of us barely managing on an annual salary of less than $30,000 pay higher taxes than we would anywhere else in the country. So much for the tenacious myth that Quebec is kinder to its less well-to-do citizens. For too many years, Montrealers have clung to the fiction that we are better off than Torontonians or Vancouverites because housing is cheaper here. Fine - housing and living costs should be part of any comparison among cities. Taxes are not the whole story, it's true. The beauty of the recent study we're quoting is that it combined three elements - salaries, taxes and cost of living - to determine how well off residents of various cities are. It did the calculations for four family types - couples with and without children and single people earning high and low salaries - in order to take into account such social benefits as our $7-a-day daycare.
Once everything is thrown into the mix, the stark reality is impossible to avoid. Take for instance the Montreal couple with no kids. They earn $6,819 less a year than their counterparts in Vancouver - but pay $4,929 more in taxes! Incredible.

Guess that is what a statist political culture, and a patrician, pseudo-intellectual political elite educated abroad and dedicated to a completely impractical notion of quasi-independance will get you!

Let the hand wringing begin

So the Senators have been felled in five, and already the hounds, smelling blood, have begun their baying. In seeking a martyr to satiate their hunger, I trust they will look past Emery, who stood on his head during these playoffs and who wasn't even supposed to be between the posts-- don't kid yourself pal, one nod from the Dominator and they would have yanked poor Ray. Perhaps their gaze will fall on a more likely victim: the happless Alfie.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating firing the guy, but lets call a spade a shovel, and lay the blame where it belongs: Right between the wobbly ankles that allowed a snot-nosed punk who was on waivers at the beginning of the season to waltz around him like a young Wayne Gretzky, circa 1981, and score shorthanded in OT, for crissakes. I swore I saw Emery weeping.

From 2000 until the lockout, Daniel Alfredsson was racking up 70-80 points during the regular season, and he's a big part of the reason that the Senators have dominated of late. But then comes the playoffs, and a change seems to come over the guy. Alfredsson who plays like a norse hero for 82 games, suddenly becomes a mere mortal. You can see the bewilderment in his nordic blue eyes, as everyone around him seems to kick their game up a notch, and he is left, far too often, looking like he just can't do the same.

Now I know that fans will point to the Captain's goal last night, and his classy post-game interview. But as Luke writes in the Gospel, "of those to whom much is given, much is expected". Occasional moments of brilliance won't cut it. A player of Alfredsson's calibre who has the priviledge of wearing the C in arguably the league's best team should be consistently fantastic. It's the second round of the playoffs, and Ottawa is already out. That wasn't supposed to happen.

Long time no see!

I have so much to tell you...
First of all, I'm worried! No not about the reverse-reconquista going on as immigrants squatting in European churches casually throw up banners proclaiming that Mohammed rocks... nah! That's just par-for-the-course in today's strange world. no I'm worried about something much more troubling because I am a North American navel-gazer who doesn't worry about things that happen in faraway lands. I worry about far more pressing and urgent things like soldiers with guns in Canadian cities and climate change ! After all, I just bought a new home! Will I have to spend money on roof-mounted General-Purpose Machine Guns to keep out rampaging paramilitaries? Not only that, will I have to buy extra insulation for my new home, or will somebody save us from Global Cooling. Al Gore, Maude Barlow, George Clooney, David Suzuki, somebody do something! Imagine the global chaos that global cooling will bring. And Iran has nukes now --or so the Zionistneocons would have us believe. A light dusting of snow over Tehran might be all it takes to send the Ayatollahs over the edge... then next thing ya know, Chuck Heston is raving on a beach in front of the top third of the Statue of Liberty!

*****

So anyway, I've been reading a bit about
Tony Blair and his issue with Gordon Brown, and I gotta tell ya, it reminds me an awful lot of the Chretien/Martin mess that ultimately brought down the most successful political machine in the history of Western Democracies (for now--trust not the fickle Canadian electorate). Taking a page out of the book of another Tony, Blair needs to pole-axe this clown, pronto, for the good of "the family".

******

As promised, here is more on the movie United 93. Rather than write my own review, I figured I would link to one of the best descriptions of a film-viewing experience I have ever read... it speaks more eloquently than anything I might have written.

*****

On Monday, we close the deal on the new house, and I join the ranks of those whose home is owned by a bank. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's probably because I pawned my PC to pay the mortgage.

Hasta la proxima, amigos!

In no particular order:

My refutation of The Gospel of Judas, and every other half baked conspiracy theory that Brown or Baigent (or Lee or Pagels or Brown, et. al) have ever come up with:

Apostolic Succession

*****

I went to see United 93 on Friday. Along the lines of what appears to be the general consensus, here is my five word review: IT IS NOT "TOO SOON"

I'll post more on this experience in a little while.

*****

Borat, the funniest member of the Sacha Baron Cohen triad, is getting his own movie, surely a cause for hand pleasure!

"That singer before me. Who was it? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testes satchels that gave it away."

Borat on Madonna, at the 2005 MTV Europe awards

Beware of Chimps

A few weeks ago I was watching the Kratt brothers' show "Be the Creature". If you didn't know, the Kratts are two quasi-interchangeable naturalist brothers who host children's wildlife programming on more than one network.

Anyway, this show is dedicated to developing a certain empathy through mimickry--immitation being the sincerest form of flattery, I suppose. And this time, the subject of their flattery was the chimpanzee, which, we are told, is our nearest living relative in the animal kingdom. If so, much of human behaviour that I don't understand was explained for me during that half hour.

During the first half of the program, the brothers spent some time with some chimps in a sanctuary for orphans, roughousing and playing with the beasts. Then in the second half, they dragged a camera deep into the jungle to observe the creatures living in the wild, and the two clowns "aped" them-- if you pardon the expression -- climbing, scampering, rooting for food, calling out chimp-cries. Then, about 45 minutes into the broadcast, things got nasty... when the chimps went on a hunt, the young viewers were treated to the horrifying spectacle of the brutes leaping from tree to tree, seizing monkeys, and rending them limb from limb. The Kratts somberly informed us that as "omnivores", the chimps ate both meat and veggies. And how! These ones seemed to have a predilection for monkey tartar... or rather tear-tear, as that's what they did as they shared the bits of monkey between them, pulling limbs apart in a grotesque jungle tug-of-war.

This jarring image came rushing back into my head as I read this report of a Canadian being injured and his driver killed in a chimp attack in Sierra Leone. For all their cuteness, these are some dangerous and unpredictable beasts, which can turn nasty at a moment's notice. Is it any wonder we think of them as man's closest cousin?

Something for mean-spirited conspiracy-crazy bloggers to think about

Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quire true, or not quite so bad as it turned out. Is one's first feeling, "Thank God, even they aren't quite so bad as that," or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemise as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils.

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Easter break 2006 - at home with the family in Windsor 

The Dome of Les Invalides. Paris, June 2005 

The Five Stages of 24

It Was the Best of Seasons and the Worst of Seasons...

by Julius Dithers April 10th, 2006

04:44:53 AM CST or How I Got Over Tony's Death and Can Still Watch This F*cking Manipulative Show:

Denial - "He can't be dead! It's a trick!"

Anger - "Those motherf*cking 24 showrunners authorized TONY'S DEATH!
F*ck Surnow,
f*ck Gordon,
f*ck Fury and f*ck Coto!"

Bargaining - "Why didn't they just kill that little
girl at the mall and spare Tony's life?!"

Depression - "If he's dead, nobody's safe! You, too, Sutherland! Ah, what's the point in watching this show anymore?"

Acceptance - "The President's the big bad?! Holy shit, what happens next?!"

The Melkite Church

My fiance and I will be getting married in this Melkite church.

I've been learning quite a bit about the Greek Catholic Churches and other "particular" churches in communion with Rome. Inevitably, I stumbled across the topic of Orthodoxy, and the strange case of the "Uniat" Churches:

The Catholic Church considers the Eastern Orthodox to be in schism and therefore not in full communion with the Holy See. Some of Eastern Orthodox Christians in turn consider Roman Catholics to be heretics, while the majority consider them in schism. Confusingly, the term "Western Orthodox" refers to Uniat Catholic churches in communion with the Roman See, known also as Eastern Catholic Churches. Actually this is rarely the case in semantic terms. Today "western Orthodox" will probably refer to groups of real apostolic Orthodox Christians in the UK, USA,and perhaps smaller numbersin France, the Netherlands, Germany and Denmark, who wish to be Orthodox and yet want a western and Latin rite. In Ukraine and Romania there are Uniates called Greek Catholics who have Byzantine rite, but accept primacy of the Pope, and Papal infallibility, so they are Byzantine Catholics. Also in the Lebanon are groups called Maronites and Melkites in a smilar situation.

Confused yet?

How do you think I feel? Basically, it all comes down to which churches are "in communion" with Rome --e.g. those that recognize the primacy of the Pope and accept the authority of the Holy See are Catholic, regardless of the rite they use. The Melkites actually use the Eastern Rite which, to someone raised in the Latin rite, makes for an entirely different church experience than what one is accustomed to. I see it as a wonderful example of the amazing diversity that exists within the worldwide Catholic community.

Snakes on a MothaF***g plane!!!

The competition was fierce, but the results are finally in!

I'm delighted to announce the winner of the "Idiotic Statement of the Day" Award.

Congratulations, Linda McQuaig!

You take home the prize for this assinine little nugget:

Is it just me or does anyone else find it ominous that Harper says "God bless Canada" and vows not to "cut and run" — deliberately aping the most unsavoury president in U.S. history?

Ooh, scary Mr. Harper! Stop "aping" Mr. Bush --clever simian subtext there! I get it --Chimpy McBushitler, right? Clever, very clever! Stop your ominous references to God, you are scaring some people! Presumably the same people that shudder and cower in terror every time they hear the following line in our national anthem:

GOD keep our land glorious and free. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Reminds me of a classic Simpsons line
"God has no place in the public schools, just as facts have no place in organized religion!" Superintendant Chalmers

Perplexing quote provided completely out of context

Pope Benedict XVI will bury you in an avalanche of righteousness and roast your heathen flesh in the purifying fires of the holy spirit.

I actually found this in an e-mail I wrote to an e-mail to a friend a few months ago. I must have been off my meds.


You could accuse me of hero worship... but you might get tortured for it

Another Baueristic link

Different Jack, but cool nonetheless

Michael Ware, the intrepid Time magazine correspondent, exposed

The Dupes and the Defenders

Actual press release:

The Iraq embassy condemns the comment of "Christian Peacemaker Teams" and calls
on all democrats to rally to the cause of a democratic Iraq and to condemn all
such phony pacifists... One could hardly think of a more disgraceful response to
the efforts of the Iraqi, American and British soldiers that risked their necks
to save hostages... They are not pacifists, but stooges of the enemies of
democracy. The "Christian Peacemaker Teams" practice the kind of politics that
automatically nominate them as dupes for jihadism and fascism


Another actual press release:

Statement by the Prime Minister on the passing of Private Robert Costall
March 29, 2006
Ottawa, Ontario


Prime Minister Stephen Harper today issued the following statement on the passing of Private Robert Costall:

“It is with great sadness that we learned of the death of Private Robert Costall, killed in a firefight in Afghanistan.

“Private Costall died while participating in our mission to bring democracy and stability to the war torn country of Afghanistan. His sacrifice, for which we are deeply grateful, will be remembered.

“On behalf of the people of Canada and our government, I extend our deepest condolences to the family, friends, and co-workers of Private Costall. Our thoughts and prayers are with them.

“Our UN-mandated mission in Afghanistan is not without risk and we are so very proud of our brave men and women who daily face these dangers while carrying out their duties. They represent the best of our country and I am proud to honour them.”

So which of these makes you proud to be Canadian?

RIP Private Costall

From a Canada.com article

Earlier Monday, the Christian Peacemaker Teams admitted they purposefully kept the fact Loney is gay a secret over fears his sexual orientation could further endanger his life while he was held captive in Iraq. "There was concern for his safety in this violent world of gay-bashing," said administrative co-ordinator Rebecca Johnson.

(...)It was in Loney's "best interest" to keep that part of his personal life under wraps because gay people are still targets of "antagonistic" attacks.


Notice the artful evasion... The implication appears to be that in this day and age, Loney's sexual orientation puts him in danger of "antagonistic attacks" from, say, roving gangs of intolerant bigots in downtown Toronto. By obliquely and deliberately characterising the threat as "this violent world", Johnson evades the thorny issue of the prevailing attitude towards homosexuality in certain very specific parts of the world. Anyone who knows anything about urban Canada and our famed value of tolerance sees this for what it is: disingenuous obfuscation.

No, Ms. Johnson. As a homosexual, Mr. Loney was not in danger "in this violent world of gay-bashing". He was in danger from a very specific localized threat: in this world there are theocratic absolutists who would happily crush him under a wall for buggery, there are Baathist thugs who would relish his kidnapping and murder as a sign to other decadent westerners, and there are jihadists who would love to video tape the sawing off of his sodomizing infidel's head for propaganda purposes... and, in case you didn't know, none of these people are found on Jarvis Street in Toronto.

All Over The Place:

I'm impressed!

I'm kinda surprised they couldn't find an American-built car, but nevertheless,
THIS is pretty amazing!


24: We kill more major characters in one hour than most primetime dramas kill in several seasons

This morbid little hitcounter is brought to you by the good folks at Blogs4bauer

Allah's holodeck:

An intersting angle on the islamic worldview

Desmond Morton to the media:

Do your f*cking job

You Christian? You crazy!

Dudes keep insisting that Islam is a religion of peace , and some other dudes keep insisting on proving them wrong!
Now that is crazy.

Swompdonkey is two years old

Thanks for sticking with me, friend! Your patronage is encouraging. I do believe I will continue to post my disjointed rantings -- how does that grab you?

Twenty-Four update:

I've been chastized for not adding spoiler warnings to my 24 posts. It never occured to me that some people actually don't watch the show from week to week, but prefer to TIVO it and watch three or four episodes at once, or wait for the DVD boxed set to come out. I should have thought of that, of course, because I actually watched Seasons 1-3 on DVD after discovering the show last year. My apologies for spoiling anything... I promise to be more careful in the future... and with that:

***POTENTIAL SPOILER***

Jack now divides the sexes! 24-related post at jumptheshark.com in response to a girl's complaint over Tony's exit:
This show has never jumped. It is still one of the edgiest, most suspenseful rides out there on the small screen and this season is the best since Day 2. It is one of the few shows that has balls enough to kill off any major character. For those whining about Tony's death, get over it! What did you expect when the writers say that no one on the show is safe? I loved Tony too, but his time came and that's the way it goes. Oh, and to the above poster who's boyfriend quit watching...I can understand. He obviously was no longer able to identify with Jack Bauer; a man with his own set of testicles that remain under his own control. I hope your boyfriend enjoys Gilmore Girls and The O.C., or whatever it is that you make him watch when you're not playing solitaire. Meanwhile, the rest of us real men will continue to enjoy Jack and the ticking clock of doom.

***SPOILER ENDS***


Victor Davis Hanson runs a fantastic Web site. If you have never visited it, I encourage you to do so. It's chock-full of great articles containing some very sharp insights --like this one:

When Westerners die in Afghanistan, it is back-page news; but in Iraq, the deaths make the front page. Why? Because the "bad" war in Iraq was supposedly "unilateral," while the "good" war to dethrone the Taliban is now a multilateral enterprise. Yet to the jihadists, there is little difference between the two: a German soldier in Kabul looks every bit the crusader that the American in the Sunni Triangle does. We in the West make the distinction between the wars; the radical Islamists don't.


On the topic of Afghanistan: Lets not forget that, for all our rhetoric about democracy and the rule of law, Afghanistan is still a profoundly troubled land. Some things that go on there are incomprehensible to me. Like the ordeal of an Afghani apostate reported here in the Globe and Mail.

PS
I just found out that the creator of Ren and Stimpy has a blog. I was the hugest fan of that show when it first came out something like fifteen years ago.... Can I really be that old?

With Tony deceased, Jack calls upon the Lord for help?

...or so it would appear. I thought I recognized that Theo Stoller! Sure he may say he he's from German intelligence, but that's only an alias. A search of Government databases uncovered several aliases:
Salvator Mundi
Joshua Emmanuel Nazarenus
Iesu Christos

That's right! It's Jesus!

And now, Jack's gone and pissed him off. Great, not like Bauer didn't have enough on his plate already. He would do well to remember John Turturro's character's words from the Big Lebowski. You know what I'm talking about.

TWENTY-FOUR

(a.k.a. The Jack Bauer Power Hour)

Edgar's death a Mistake?

Maybe.... but Tony's? Definitely.

I know that this show is admired for its daring and willingness to dispatch major characters without remorse.... Jack Bauer may be the sweatsoaked fist of vengeance, but the fact remains, Agent SOULPATCH, a CTU fixture since Season One, was the heart of the show.

If he really is dead --and I still have my doubts, mostly because of the absent silent counter at the end of the episode with which the deceased Ryan Chapelle, George Mason, and Edgar Styles were previously honoured--

If he really is dead, expect switch Retribution from Agent GRAVITAS

There's a man going around taking names
And he decides who to free and who to blame
Everybody won't be treated all the same
There'll be a golden ladder reaching down
When the Man comes around

The hairs on your arm will stand up
At the terror in each sip and in each sup
Will you partake of that last offered cup?
Or disappear into the potter's ground
When the Man comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum
Voices calling, voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn tree
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom
Then the father hen will call his chickens home
The wise man will bow down before the thrown
And at His feet they'll cast their golden crowns
When the Man comes around

Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
Listen to the words long written down
When the Man comes around

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum
Voices calling and voices crying
Some are born and some are dying
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree
The virgins are all trimming their wicks
The whirlwind is in the thorn tree
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

In measured hundred weight and penny pound
When the Man comes around.

Johnny Cash
The Man Comes Around

Memories of Italy - May 2004: Rufus, guardian of the Pensione Bellavista. The dreaded mastiff's slobbery kisses strikes fear into the hearts of the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells of Florence  

From an Ottawa Sun Column:
Oddly, when we were on our fuzzier peacekeeping missions no one cared when we died. There was rarely any publicity, and little sympathy. I don't quite understand that. In the end, I guess some people just don't get it. Some friends and family don't understand why I want to go, and why I don't make an effort to get out of serving in Afghanistan. I don't hear anyone asking a cop why he answers 911 calls, or why a firefighter runs into a burning building. In fact, I was just accepted for an occupational transfer to Search and Rescue Technician that brings a significant pay raise, but I've turned it down to go to the new Special Operations Regiment.
Why? How can I back away when all my friends are going? I believe in the mission, and in my heart I'm a soldier. This is what I do.

This gentleman displays the mindset of the warrior. John Keegan wrote in his introduction to A History of Warfare:Warriors are not as other men. I really believe that most Canadians cannot fathom this mentality, and perhaps the idea that idealistic dupes like this poor fellow actually want to go put what they have spent years training for to good use is almost repellent to some -- so disconnected have we become from our own past. They believe that we are a nation of peacekeepers, and that our benevolent blue helmets are basically a Canadian peacecorps trained in negotiation and multilateral relations --Canadian Forces members should not talk like gung-ho "american style" warriors. And yet, there are still warriors among us; honourable warriors who believe that the military profession is not one where the primary role of its practicants must be obfuscated or cloaked in the jargon of the pacifist.

No, Canada is not a militaristic society, but it is nevertheless a society in which the military has always played a role, a society where warriors still dwell --something that the myths, pieties and social engineering of the last thirty years can never truly erase. If you don't believe me, walk into any old militia armoury in any city in Canada --there are dozens across the land --and ask to speak to the resident historian or curator of the military museum.

Warriors have been a part of Canadian society since the first outposts were founded by Champlain in the seventeenth century. The history of some of Canada's present-day militia units can be traced back to the Niagara and Lower Canada campaigns in the War of 1812. Throughout the imperial years of the nineteenth century, both before and after Confederation, Canadian men --often more British in outlook than Canadian, went around the globe to fight in Queen Victoria's Wars and many gained reknown. This is that particular breed I refer to as a warrior --a breed of man quite unlike the citizen-soldier, who enlists in time of war, as millions did during the twentieth century.

These warriors are now the ones who now eagerly volunteer for dangerous operations like the one in Afghanistan, where, in the "three block war", humanitarian relief, peacekeeping and warfighting all go hand-in-hand. They fight for those who cannot fight for themselves in the most wretched corners of the world, risking life and limb to ply their trade and bring help to the oppressed. Most strongly believe in what they are doing, and some are even eager to go. George Orwell was speaking of these men when he wrote: "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf". The warriors are part of a warrior tribe, quite apart from the rest of us, that hews to those old-fashioned values of duty, honour, and loyalty, and their function is to protect the rest of us.

We should not prevent them from doing what any society expects of its warriors.

Jack Bauer vs. James Ellard - interesting parallels:

When he's on duty, Jack Bauer is known for his brooding intensity.
After he eats garlic, James Ellard is know for his brutally intense breath.

When dealing with terrorists, Jack often has no remorse.
When watching TV, James often cannot find his remote.

Jack shot a lady in the knee because he wanted to make a man talk.
James is a man, but he walks like a lady because his knees are shot.

Jack and his co-workers use intelligence from the Government to track down threats.
Because of his lack of intelligence, James is no threat to his Government co-workers.

Jack once faced a biological disaster and took out mexican baddies in the same day.
James once created a biological disaster in his apartment after some bad mexican take out.

Jack sometimes wears a kevlar vest and sunglasses.
James sometimes wears a sweater vest and reading glasses.

Jack barely eats and can function on no sleep for 24 hours at a time.
One time James ate 24 donuts in his sleep.

Jack doesn't play around --he has real gravitas.
James usually gets slapped around when he tries to play grab-ass.

Jack's heart once stopped during torture. He was revived and proceeded to kill everyone in the room.
James' heart once stopped halfway into a bag of pork rinds. He was revived and proceeded to kill a six-pack of Keiths.

Jack Bauer took 24 hours to save the U.S. President.
James Ellard took 24 minutes to shave a nursing home resident.

Michelle, Joe, Nesrine, and Ziad at the Courthouse in Toronto 

I'm not sure you HEARD ME!... There's some SNAKES on this Mothaf*ckin' PLANE!

Somebody in the Rotten Tomatoes Forum smells a hit. It stars Sam Jackson, and it's called-- I shit you not-- Snakes On A Plane:

Snakes on a Plane is going to be the Top-Grossssssssing film of 2006 because finally Jackson has found a worthy co-star since John Travolta that will finally up his game and make the back and forth interplay between the two entertaining. Kind of like when global superstar Jackie Chan hooked up with Chris Tucker and finally delivered a legitimate blockbuster hit that people in the States could enjoy. Same deal here. In 2006... snakes will be to Samuel L. Jackson what Chris Tucker was to Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour movies.

Do not for a second underestimate the underlying interest people have always had for snakes and the untapped potential they have to seriously kickstart the currently lukewarm movie industry. Everybody loves snakes, even the people who hate them, so this film is hopefully going to finally break down the walls and barriers and alleviate some of the long-standing stereotypes people have had with regards to this underrepresented species. Depending on how they are depicted in this already much-debated film, the potential Snakes has to significantly impact the visibility and overall acceptance of snakes in modern cinema is palpable. Snakes on a Plane is going to do for snakes what Brokeback Mountain has already done for gay people.... remember this.

Jackson may say this is just another throwaway movie for him. Lucky for him, 2006 may very well prove to be the Year of the Snake

Holy Blood, Holy Bunk

I'm quite gratified to hear that the "soon-to-be a major motion picture" The Da Vinci Code-- that formulaic, problematic, and highly over-rated novel, is getting its comeuppance. Anyone who has bothered to probe the roots of this pseudo-historical work of fiction will already be aware that it borrows heavily from Baigent and Leigh's Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Indeed, Dan Brown makes little secret of this, going so far as making the name of one of the characters in his novel an anagram of Baigent and Leigh's names.

It turns out the feckless Brown may have borrowed a bit too heavily from the 1982 conspirazoid opus authored by two so-called "religious scholars" Michael Baigent (BA Canterbury U.) and Dr Leigh (PhD Stony Brook New York State University -Stony Brook U? Is that an online university?) who are now suing Brown's ass for plagiarism. A legion of real religious scholars have already dismiss the oddball theories found in HBHB as a load of nonsense time and time again, but a high-profile court case will likely drag Baigent and Leigh's pungent ideas out into the light of day yet again, exposing the Priory of Sion Hoax and other ludicrous theories to a much wider audience than ever before.

Let the bloodletting begin, I say!

Olympic roundup:

Men's hockey team just got the beatdown from the Swiss. A nation hangs its head in shame.

A cautionary tale for showboats: American hotdogger blows it big time

Oops! Take down the gold wallpaper... do we have it it silver?

Somebody get a screenshot of this!
Canada ahead of US in medal count

Jihad roundup:

I've been thinking about one of self-described smut-peddlar Larry Flint's most famous quotes lately. He was, and largely remains, a reprehensible and amoral man -- but he was also a crusader for free speech, and he once said:

If the First Amendment will protect a scumbag like me, it will protect all of you.

So in that spirit, let us celebrate the right of scumbags to continue to draw scumbaggy drawings, say scumbaggish things, and basically scumbag it up in general. Because freedom is what makes us who we are. And we'll never give it up.

Topical Satire
More blasphemy from The Onion

Disrespectfully and blatantly ripped from the innards of NRO's The Corner:
The Multicultural Crackup (courtesy of John Derbyshire)
From Ron Liddle in the 2/4/06 London Spectator: "One of Britain's top Muslims, the ever-entertaining Sir Iqbal Sacranie, is in trouble for having expressed the wholly orthodox -- and even, by his religion's standards, moderate -- view that homosexuals are 'not acceptable' and 'immoral' and that 'same-sex relationships damage the very foundations of society.' For having come up with this stuff on the BBC's 'PM' programme, he has been investigated by the police for the thought-crime, or, as the police put it these days, hate-crime, of homophobia. "...If Sir Iqbal -- and adherents of the Muslim faith in general -- believe homosexuality to be repugnant, then that is their view, and it is not the business of the government, or the police... to divest them of it. But the Old Bill are scurrying around to Sir Iqbal's house with a view top rosecuting him for merely articulating one of the fundamental tenets of a religion whose strictures will soon be protected by law. [ i.e. the proposed UK law to criminalize the defamation of Islam] This is, quite literally, madness. The two laws -- one proposed and one already on the statute books -- are in
direct, unequivocal opposition. One day we will surely see the prosecution of a gay person for suggesting that Islam is ludicrous and, by dint of its opposition to homosexuality, illegal. And where will we be then?" [Derb] In short: If it a proper goal of the law to prosecute people who give outrageous offense to groups of their fellow-citizens; and if homosexuals, by their private practices, give outrageous offense to Muslims; and if Muslims, by their abhorrence of homosexuality, give outrageous offense to homosexuals; whom does the state prosecute?
Answers on a postcard, please, to Tony Blair, 10 Downing Street, London W.C.1.

Bizarre AND Blasphemous!

More offensive than the Hampster Dance!

Til next time...Stay Classy!

Fighting hate with humour

This is Brilliant
Something that will baffle and puzzle the extremists in Iran who hoped to provoke some kind of response by publishing vile holocaust cartoons. They truly do not understand Western society.

Here is a comment on LGF that explains --as well as I could-- why it is so brilliant:

The Jews who are behind this are saying to the Islamofascists, "We will take your antisemitism and throw it right back in your face. We will do it with more talent, more humor, more style and pizzazz, and yes, more artistry than you can imagine. And we'll be laughing at you the whole time." This is not self-hating behavior. There is plenty of that among Jews who identify with the (supposedly) oppressed Muslims, lefty students who join pro-Palestinian groups, etc. But that's not the case here. Jewish humor has completely penetrated American culture over the last 50 years or so and has become thoroughly mainstream, largely through television. Since childhood I've been exposed to comics like the Marx Brothers, Henny Youngman, Mel Brooks, and Jerry Seinfeld, just to name a few. They, and many others, have become part of the American pantheon. So even though I'm not Jewish, a Jewish style of humor is an inseparable part of me, and I couldn't imagine life without it(...) Humor is one area in which we are clearly superior to the Islamofascists, and we shouldn't hesitate to use it as a weapon.

NDP Clerics declare Fatwa

Vancouver NDPers launched a holy war against apostate Emerson... meanwhile, the silence of Montreal secular socialists over Senator "coz-I-didn't-feel-like-running!" Fortier is deafening. Different political cultures? Gallic pragmatism vs left coast idealism? All I know is that the big story of Harper's audacious Cabinet is being pumped full of steroids and fed intravenously by frantic, outraged political journalists (like one of my faves, A-to-the-C). The scribes are half repulsed by Harper's crass political opportunism, Fortier's annoying honesty about his distaste for trying his luck in an election, and Emerson's lack of scruples... and half pissed that Harper blindsided them with this blockbuster story without leaking it à la Paul Martin. They also must see the end is near, in the form of the Gretzky Tsunami... a story involving the ponitfex maximus of our national religion that will swamp the frontpages and headlines for days to come, drowning the Harper/Emerson/Fortier stories and washing them out to sea.... and that's a pity. Because what Harper did was clever AND wrong, I think, and deserves the opprobrium being visited on him. If the shrewd strategic thinkers in the PMO calculated the cost-benefit of this move months ago, and figured that the olympics or some olympic related story --please step forward, Mr. and Mrs. Betsky -- was bound to sprout new controversies across the front of our front pages, they may be about to be proved correct in their cynical calculus. Now watch for the martyrdom of Saint Wayne.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

Not to sound like some kind of doom-monger, but what the hell is going on?

Double D hints at a stalling global economy...

Meanwhile, Loonytoongate continues:

Daniel Pipes:

The key issue at stake in the battle over the twelve Danish cartoons of the Muslim prophet Muhammad is this: Will the West stand up for its customs and mores, including freedom of speech, or will Muslims impose their way of life on the West? Ultimately, there is no compromise: Westerners will either retain their civilization, including the right to insult and blaspheme, or not.

More hilarity, and a little perspective, from Iowahawk

Angry in the Great White North Gets it:

So I ask again, if you believe in free speech, if you believe that Church and State have distinct roles to play, and that they need to respect each other's authority, if you have spared any thought about the sort of world you want your kids to grow up in, and if you have ever wanted to poke an Islamic terrorist in the eye but figured you would never get the chance, then post a cartoon if you are a blogger.

State that the cartoon is offensive and in poor taste, if you find it so. Call it puerile and juvenile if you like. Misleading even. But if you have a blog, post a copy. Whatever your point of view, stand up and be counted against those who have not only have no interest in your point of view but would have your point of view silenced, violently if need be.

Another spot to see Cartoons

And because I am a believer in equal-opportunity offending, here are some offensive cartoons of a different stripe....sauce for the goose, I say... and yet for some reason, I don't recall any embassy burnings, boycotts or riots over these bad boys...

Though we continue to feed the crocodile, Captain Hook is finally getting what is coming to him. Now people are pissed that he wasn't investigated earlier.

Here is a scorecard of the spectrum of responses from the West.

NEVER FORGET

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THINK AND SAY AND BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT

NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU

EVER


Cartoons here

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
Sir Winston Churchill

SITZKRIEG

A hundred years hence, some historians prone to periodization and the identification of historical parallels, as problematic as both these approaches may be, will no doubt look upon the first decade of the twenty-first century and debate the moment at which the West ended its policy of accomodation with Radical Islam and entered "the next stage".

Historians looking for the ominous signposts along the road to the conflict may well point to this development and the current showdown with Iran, to argue that we had already entered the phony war by 2006.

The early tremors often portend calamities to come, as the vagaries of history illustrate:

In an act of terror, an obscure young nationalist fires a pistol into the motorcar of an imperial heir, killing him and his pregnant wife. Six weeks later, millions of people are engulfed by conflict on an unimagined scale.

A public building is razed, and a dissafected former Corporal rises to absolute power amidst the turmoil of a worldwide depression, paving the way for the most horrific war ever visited upon civilization.

The seeds may well be sown.... if so, what will civilization harvest?

Free Flow

Presidential Candidate? Well...ya know... I could... see it

Why the Europeans are not waked up?
I did a Babelfish translation of a Mark Steyn interview with Guilio Meotti of Il Foglio. It was bizarre.
My favourite thing was the literal Italian translation of Alito as "Breath". Supreme Court Justice Sam Breath --a breath of fresh judicial air. I think it works!

Speaking of Steyn (as I often do... I can almost hear the sound of eyeballs rolling), I thought one of his comments on the Hughes story was hilarious:

Mr Hughes's current claim of "bisexuality" has the whiff of artful centrist positioning about it: bi- is the proportional representation of sexuality in a world where most of us - straight or gay - operate a first-past-the-post system.

After watching last night's horrifying Dateline NBC/Perverted-Justice.com Child Predator Sting, I was certain of one thing. If parents are letting their kids put up Web pages on
MySpace.com, they better make damn sure they are vigilant. We live in scary times.

Joe Knippenberg lays the smackdown on Shadia Drury and her ilk. The hysterics of leftist Canadian academics and their paranoia over the Calgary Cabal of Conservatives (I'm copyrighting that one) are also laughable to our neighbours to the South:

Much of the noise about the Calgary School's alleged Straussianism has been traced to one source, the University of Regina's Shadia Drury, who has made her career by writing increasingly shrill and implausible screeds purporting to expose the anti-democratic elitism (and ultimate nihilism) of Leo Strauss and his students. Her work has often impressed those who haven't actually read Strauss, especially if they're fond of conspiracy theories and have a visceral hatred for conservatives. Her commentary on the Canadian scene, warning of "radical populists hiding behind the cloak of rhetorical moderation," is hard to square with her picture of Strauss and his students as anti-democratic elitists. What are those Straussians-elitists who manipulate the credulous people by lying, or radical populists? Apparently, Drury can't decide.

Variety is the spice of life

Colby's latest column on the Pigeonhole Principle (From January 14th's National Post) raises the alarm on the reproductive revolution in the developing world and the resulting "engineered" sex ratios -- another by-product of the colision of traditional social values and modernity. Basically, many people prefer to have male children, and are taking the necessary measures to ensure they have them. As a result, for the first time since humankind first appeared, the species is consistently producing more male offspring than female. What are the implications? The mind reels...

Meanwhile, Nero plays his Lyre (not his fiddle, as widely reported) as Rome burns



In a not entirely unrelated vein, Zombie goes for a walk.

So now they have a catchy name: The Condinistas begin to gear up for a White House Run in 2008.

Shocking news: Nice Guy Eddie just passed away.

Let me say this out loud, 'cause I wanna get it straight in my head. You're saying that Mr. Blonde was gonna kill you, then when we got back, he was going kill us, take the satchel of diamonds, and scram. I'm right about that, right? That's correct? That's your story? Mr. Orange: I swear on my mother's eternal soul that's what happened. Nice Guy Eddie: The man you just killed was just released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could've fuckin' walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his fucking mouth shut. And did his fuckin' time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're tellin' me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now, that now this man is free, and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just gonna decide, out of the fucking blue, to rip us off?
Why don't you tell me what really happened? "

Someone was bound to write something on Jack Bauer's propensity for wounding people with bullets in order to extract information and the US policy on torture. Jack Bauer and the Ethics of Urgency is a thought-provoking take on this timely topic.

Speaking of which....

In the spirit of Norris, here is Bauer:

1. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

2.Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

3.If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

4.Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

5.Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

6.Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

7.Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

8. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

9.If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.

10.Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

11.Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

12.If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.

13.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

14.Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.

15.If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.

16.Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.

17.Jack Bauer's gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer.

18.Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

19.As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"

20.While being 'put under' in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.

21.Jack Bauer can watch all 4 seasons of 24 in 24 hours.

22.Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

23.Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

24.Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

25.Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.

26.If Jack's starring at someone and his eye twitches, assume that person has less than 15 minutes to live.

27.When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

28.Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

29.David Spade always says 'yes' to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.

30.Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...

BONUS: Say it ain't so! Jack's Pops is a pinko!!!

Expect more on this....

Coyne highlights new conventional wisdom out there in blogland --Central thesis: The urban-rural split is a fallacy, a media myth Tories outpolled the Liberals in Quebec City, Ottawa, Regina, Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton, and St. John's. Outside the three metropolises, the Tories won 33 seats to the Liberals 7.

There is actually an idea floating now of an MTV/rest-of-Canada divide, caused largely by overwhelming immigrant support of the Liberals. (picking up on the stat that three quarters of immigrants settle in MTV).

Coyne says: "He may or may not be right to attribute the difference to the immigrant vote. I'd say that was a subset of a larger phenomenon of cosmopolitanism. Big-city diversity has many faces: ethnicity, language, class, sexual orientation, etc. Tories have got to show they get this. (In particular, the sooner they put the gay marriage issue behind them the better.)"

How will this affect Conservative policies toward regionalizing immigration? I'm willing to bet that "spreading 'em around" is going to become a bigger priority.

Something to think about...

Will the Board fall on their swords?

I predicted:

LIBS 96 / CONS 120 / NDP 30 / BLOC 62

Actual:

LIBS 103 / CONS 124 / NDP 29 / BLOC 51 / IND 1

(difference +7 / -4 / -1/ -11)

Two things I did not anticipate:

The refusal of much of Ontario to swing over to Harper (meant less Tory seats in Ontario, same trend seen in BC)
The unexpected Conservative breakthrough in Quebec (meant a few more Tories in Quebec, alot less Bloc)

My verdict: A good night for the Federation. The West got in. We now have two
national parties, and a discredited Bloc that has lost all momentum now that the Gomery thing has been put to bed.


1 Samuel 31, King James Bible
Now the Philistines fought against Israel: and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa.

And the Philistines followed hard upon Saul and upon his sons; and the Philistines slew Jonathan, and Abinadab, and Melchishua, Saul's sons.

And the battle went sore against Saul,and the archers hit him; and he was sore wounded of the archers.

Then said Saul unto his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it.

And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead, he fell likewise upon his sword, and died with him.

So Saul died, and his three sons, and his armourbearer, and all his men, that same day together.

From today's Globe


Most fingers were pointed at the so-called board, the close group of strategists around Mr. Martin, such as David Herle, Scott Reid, Tim Murphy, Terrie O'Leary and Michele Cadario.

One long-time Liberal was harshly critical of this group. "They are mean people," said the Liberal organizer. "They have destroyed the reputation and integrity of a brilliant world businessman . . . because of their own egos." He said that the board members are "finished."

"No leadership contender, if there is a leadership, will be seen in the same room as them," he said.


Postscripts:

I have been convinced for some time now that there are two new solitudes in Canada. THIS confirms it.

Toronto is entitled to its entitlements!

Tonight, Canada gave itself a high-colonic

I was pretty close with my predictions. Not sure exactly how close, since I left my seat projection at work. In spite of the best efforts of some in the MSM to try to paint tonight as a "disappointment" for the Conservatives, the fact remains that Stephen Harper will be moving from Stornoway to 24 Sussex. He broke through in Quebec--beyond anyone's expectations, and made some marginal improvements in Ontario. That's what he needed to do, and he did it.

Particularly skewed coverage was provided, as usual, by the Mothercorp: at one point the following factoid crawled across the bottom of the screen--Liberals and NDP have more seats than the Conservatives... so-f*cking-what? The Conservatives won a plurality of seats -- any way you slice it, they get to govern, notwithstanding any "spin" that attempts to portray a half-victory, or a "technical" win. Today is a good day for Federalism, for our political process, and --with voter turnouts up from 2004--for our democracy.

Like Harper said in his speech "The West is in"... now how long can they stay in?

"A hierarchichal ape that did not like being bossed around"

That's how an anthropologist on CBC News Sunday describes the common ancestor of humans and apes in a clever little item that shows the paralels between our political process and the social behaviour of chimps. Intercutting clips of chimpanzees growling, babbling and attacking each other in the wild with scenes of the party leaders gladhanding and posturing, it's a wonderfully subversive piece. Why no shots of chimps flinging poo, though?

Well, tomorrow, all the chimps will climb out of their trees to get a look at the situation on the ground.

The media sez:

Liberal midshipmen are putting on their dress uniforms to go stand on the burning deck Martin is lashing himself to the mast.

Tequila Sheila is carving Junior's tombstone Conservative Majority you say?

The irrepressible Greg Weston starts counting Cabinet chickens before they hatch

The Venerable Doug Fisher passes sentence

Warren bathes in schadenfreude Revenge of the Soccer Moms? Yup, I think so!

The Coshster weighs in with his eleventh-hour prediction. A fellow cynic; Colby's seat prediction is pretty close to mine.

And then there"s Maude! Barlow, Paul Martin's new second-most bestest friend (after Basil "Fawlty" Hargrove), continues to show Jack Layton why he should give her the cold shoulder (or the finger) after this election.

DAIFALLAH! Is it just me, or does the young fellow's name sound like some kind of warcry? Adam gives us the skinny on Quebec.

Paul Wells, the most consistently anti-Martin commentator I have ever seen, does what he does best

Coyne continues his systematic dismantling of Liberal puffery and misdirection

Finally, The Master seems to see the light at the end of the tunnel